


just like heaven

by mistyheartrbs



Category: Love Live! Sunshine!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - Rock Band, F/F, Football, High School, it's like a john hughes movie except it's gay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-05
Updated: 2018-04-11
Packaged: 2019-01-29 20:52:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 31,622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12638937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mistyheartrbs/pseuds/mistyheartrbs
Summary: Kanan Matsuura, star quarterback of Numazu High School's football team, and star of Mari Ohara's heart.Mari Ohara, known for her big heart and even bigger houses and the girl Kanan was secretly crazy for.And Dia Kurosawa, who was caught in the middle of it all.or, the 1980s AU nobody really asked for.





	1. Kanan, Mari, and 1989

**Author's Note:**

> while i was watching 2x04 i thought "huh, kanan's outfits look like something the jock character from an 80s teen movie would wear" and then i thought "huh, what if kanan was the jock character from an 80s teen movie" and then i thought "huh, i'm writing this now"

_2017_

"Kanan!" Mari called, waving a torn photograph in the air like a trophy. "Look at this, would you?" Kanan scooted over, waving away the dust that threw aged to overtake their storage room. 

"Oh, wow. Where'd you even _find_ this?" 

"In a box. Do you remember when we took that photo?" Nine girls stared back up at them, standing under streamers and lightbulbs, grainy in the old camera's lighting. 

"I don't know if I could ever forget." 

***

_1989_

"You know," Dia said one sunny Wednesday, filling out forms while Mari flipped idly through the latest issue of _Seventeen,_ "-you could just _talk_ to her, couldn't you? The three of us have known each other since we were little." 

"Ah, Dia, quit being such a drag!" Mari waved her off with a sigh. "I'll confess to dear Kanan on my own time." 

"You've been saying that since the sixth grade." 

"And I'm going to do it! I just need some time, is all. _Besides,_ it's not like you've got anyone in the romance department right now, either." Mari leaned over with a smug grin on her face. "Too busy taking care of your little sister? Or are you 'married to your work?'" 

"Neither," Dia huffed. "I'm just not looking for a relationship right now." 

"Sure, sure." Mari paused. "Hmm, what about that Watanabe girl - the one with the gray hair?" 

"Doesn't ring a bell."

"She's about yay tall-" Mari indicated with her hand "-and she's really into boats? She eats lunch with the jocks." 

"Why do you insist on calling them that?" Dia groaned. "You make it sound like we're in a John Hughes movie." 

"It's true, isn't it? We've all got our social circles. It's just the way high school is." 

"Admit it, you love the idea of being in a movie like that." 

"Ah, I suppose you've got me there." Mari held a hand to her face, dramatic as she always was. "Oh, but they're so _romantic,_ Dia. Have you seen _Say Anything_ yet? The guy holds up a boom box and-"

"I think I get the picture," Dia cut in. "Now, _please,_ could you let me fill these out? I need to approve the budgets for every club by tomorrow." 

"Ooh, I'll help!" 

"I think I'll be fine." Mari hung her head like a dejected puppy, but Dia refused to relent. "If you come to my house to vent, you have to expect me to be doing things of my own, too. I have a life outside of you two and Ruby." 

"I know, I know." Mari flopped back down on Dia's beanbag chair. "Where is that little angel, anyway?" 

"Out with a friend, I think. Hanamaru Kunikida, leads the book club. She's a good kid." 

"I've never heard of her." 

"I didn't think you would." Dia set aside a form to start work on the next one. "She spends most of her time in the library." 

"I'm glad Ruby has a friend." 

"Me too." 

***

 _"One_ \- listen, You, she's really pretty - _two_ \- and her eyes are this funny sort of amber color, it's beautiful." 

"You're really gay." You adjusted her hat as she looked at the timer in her hand, then back to Kanan, then to the girl sitting on her back as she tried to continue doing pushups. "You know that, right?" 

"'Course I - _five_ \- do." Kanan pushed herself up with a grunt, hardly registering the extra weight starting to keep her down. Said weight came in the form of one Chika Takami, idly sitting with her legs crossed on top of Kanan's back. "It's one of the big - _six_ \- parts of my personality." 

"It's pretty cool of you to do that," Chika added. "Being one of the only out lesbians at the school, it's like . . . you're blazing the trail for the rest of us!" Pumping her fist in the air, she nearly toppled Kanan over. "Plus, you're still super popular! It makes me feel like I can do anything." 

"Except for sit still, apparently," You muttered. Chika stuck her tongue out at her. 

"I'm helping in my own way!" 

"Sure." 

"You're a regular - _nine_ \- gal in denial, You," Kanan said. "You were - _ten_ \- always following her - _eleven_ \- every move when you were little kids. It was - _twelve_ \- cute." 

"Aye, but her heart belongs to another," You sighed, pressing a hand to her chest mournfully. "We tried it for a few weeks, never worked out." 

"Hmm, I guess you could say it still worked out, sorta. You gave me that one super-cozy sweater as 'proof of our love,' and I still have it!" 

"Really? I thought you gave that one back." 

"Nope!" Chika sniffed proudly, promptly leaning back and knocking Kanan over. 

"Okay!" You clapped with an awkward smile. "That was . . . actually pretty good. Kanan, you've been working out a lot, haven't you?" 

"I have to," Kanan groaned from the floor, rubbing her head. Chika wasn't making any move to get up. "The football team's never gonna let me hear the end of it if I'm not in top shape all the time." 

"It's still so _awesome_ that you're on the team all the way in Numazu!" 

"Ah, it's really not much." Kanan scratched the back of her neck, bashful. "All I did was sneak in and try out and get picked for the team." 

"Didn't they have to sign off on a bunch of forms and stuff?" You tilted her head, curious, the timer long forgotten. 

"They did." 

"Could you tell us the story about how you got on again?" Chika rocked back and forth in a little ball, still sitting on Kanan's back. 

"I could, if you'd get off." 

"Oh, right! Of course!" Chika skittered off to sit next to (and lean on) You, who stiffened a bit at the contact. 

"Right, so Uranohoshi doesn't have many sports teams, yeah?" 

"There's the tennis team," You offered. 

"Yeah, but they're pretty bad," Chika countered. "Anyway, Kanan, keep going!" 

"So, I was walking home from school one day, and there was a poster up for football tryouts in the next town over, so _bam._ There I was, and it's a _huge_ school over there, so they don't know every student, so I just fibbed and said I went there, and they bought it? I ended up getting in and now I'm the main quarterback." 

"It's amazing," Chika murmured. 

"Plus, Mari's always there, so that's a plus. I've told her that she really doesn't have to come to any of the games, but she's stubborn as anything, so . . . yeah." 

"Kanan's in _love,"_ You sang, grinning like a cartoon cat. Kanan flushed red. 

"I'm not!" she yelped. "I'm not. She's just really pretty and nice and her hair smells good and her laugh is incredible, it doesn't mean anything!" 

"Sure it doesn't." 

"Besides, she's straight, isn't she? The Molly Ringwald-types always end up with the guy at the end of the movie." Kanan let out a long exhale, wiping sweat from her brow. "I don't see how Mari's any different." 

"She shows up to all of your games, you dweeb." You jokingly punched her in the shoulder, wincing when she made contact. "If that's not love, I dunno what is." 

"Love's going out on dates and going to dances and being all stupidly romantic in the halls. It's not like I could do any of that anyway." Chika slowly wrapped her in a hug, and You joined not a moment afterwards. 

"Come over to my house on Saturday, 'kay? We'll eat a bunch of popcorn and goof off and have a good time." 

"If you insist." 

***

The next day was a regular one for Mari, a bit cloudier than the last but still warm enough for her not to need a jacket. Her Walkman tucked safely away in her pocket, she walked up the school's stairs without much of a care in the world. The air around her suddenly became much thicker, and she turned around to see a girl perhaps two or three years younger than her trying (and failing, from the looks of it) to smoke a cigarette. 

"Do you need help?" 

"I'm not gonna listen to the establishment!" the girl coughed, hacking up more smoke like a cat with a hairball and gripping the sides of her leather jacket for dear life. "Go back to your big . . . your big house and leave me alone!" 

"Ah, okay." Mari walked away with one more look in her direction, more or less perplexed and catching sight of a pair of angel wings embroidered on the back of the girl's jacket. 

"These kids know they're not supposed to smoke on campus, right?" Dia hissed by Mari's ear, slipping right into place beside her. "I should report her to the office right now." 

"Aw, quit being so hard on everyone, Dia!" Mari cheerfully patted her on the back. "She's a freshman. Kids are going to be kids, you know." 

"Kids are going to lose all the strength in their lungs, that's what's going to happen," Dia countered. "You know that Ruby's a freshman too, right? That girl could . . . could . . ." She practically vibrated as she tried to form the next sentence through gritted teeth, and it wasn't much of a stretch to imagine steam coming out of her ears. "She could _corrupt_ her, Mari!" 

"Ruby's afraid of her own shadow, I don't think she's going to get near anyone that intimidating." Dia looked back at the coughing girl again. 

"That's precisely what I'm afraid of. She's not scary at all." 

"You need to lighten up a bit." Mari spun dramatically as she flung open the door. "High school is a time for adventure! You can't let that pass you by!" 

"I can if I've been appointed president of the student council three years in a row," Dia retorted, breezing past her and heading off in the direction of her first class. "Take things a bit more seriously, Mari. You might get into trouble, otherwise." 

"Dire warning from someone who's bubble-wrapping their kid sister!" Mari shot back, but there was no malice in her voice. She put her earbuds back in. "Ah, Dia." The opening notes of a song started, and she closed her eyes. "I think I'm doing just fine." 

Uranohoshi was a small school, with a student body of about eighty to a hundred students depending on who decided to show up that day, plonked down in the middle of a tiny seaside town with a love for oranges and not much else. It wasn't a bad place, Uchiura, but it was most definitely small, and it was most definitely cramped, and often whispers in the hall spoke of the school closing down entirely. 

Mari didn't pay those comments much heed, due in no small part to the fact that her family more or less owned half the school, and she cared less for Uranohoshi itself than for its students. 

Unfortunately, one of those students also had the power to send her heart unspooling like the tape in her pocket, and said student was also standing right in front of her. 

"Mari! Hey!" Kanan leaned on her locker door, a comically heavy backpack hanging off her shoulders. "How's it hanging?" 

"You haven't changed a bit since we were kids, have you?" Mari leaned on the locker door right next to Kanan's. 

"Neither have you." Kanan looked at the ground. Mari looked at the ground. They both burst into a fit of giggles. "Hah, Mari, do we really have to do that every time we see each other?" 

_"Absolutely!"_ Mari pridefully yanked open her locker, revealing the ill-advised furry pink interior that lay within. It was truly horrendous, the tackiest thing in the world (or at least in the school), and Mari loved it. "I can't let anyone forget that dear little me and Kanan Matsuura have known each other since childhood! What would become of my status, otherwise?" 

"You'd be fine," Kanan laughed. "Everyone knows your name, Mari." 

"For the wrong reasons, though." Mari took her books out of the locker, blowing on them to get off the copious amounts of faux fur that coated their covers. "It'd be nice if they judged me on my own merits, rather than-" 

"The Ohara Company?" Kanan guessed. Mari glumly nodded. "Well, if nothing else, _I_ know you're more than just a big name." Resting a calloused hand on Mari's shoulder, Kanan relaxed into her a bit. It was intoxicating. "Say, I'm going to meet up with Dia after school today, would you want to come with?" 

"I'd love to, but . . . actually, wait! That's perfect!" Mari clapped her hands together gleefully. "Where're you meeting?" 

"The diner." It wasn't like she had to elaborate more - there were only a few places open in the town at all, and each one had its designated purpose. There was the restaurant, for adults and wannabe-adults. There was the fast-food place, for younger kids. Then, most importantly to the two speaking of it, there was the diner, for teenagers. It most likely hadn't been _intended_ for teenagers - the staff often muttered bitterly of the "rebels and hooligans" crowding its tables, but it was the hotspot best suited for meeting up after school, and so the teenagers continued to dine there. 

"Great! I'll see you there!" Mari skipped away, giving Kanan a waggle of her fingers in lieu of a goodbye, and unbeknownst to Kanan, she groaned as soon as she was out of earshot. "Why did I do that?" she hissed to herself. "Ugh, she probably thinks I'm a weirdo." 

". . . haven't seen her before." Mari lifted her head to see a trio of girls she'd rarely spoken to whispering in each others' ears, snickering with each breath. 

". . . really out of place." 

". . . here, of all schools?" It took a moment for her to realize that the quiet jeers were directed a few yards ahead of them, to an unfamiliar girl looking very, very much like a fish out of water, with a big stack of books unevenly balanced in her stick-like arms. The pile crashed hardly a second later, and Mari was just about to try and help her when a gray blur rushed into the scene. A little circle started to form around the girl, murmurs surrounding her, all while the second girl - Someone Watanabe, Mari thought, she'd seen her around - shoved as many books into her bag as she could before grabbing the new girl by the arm and dragging her away. 

"You're all awfully rude," Mari said to the crowd. They dispelled without another word, and she thought that maybe there were a few pros to the Ohara name after all. 

***

Chika bounced in her seat in the cafeteria, hands kneading wrinkles into her plaid skirt. She looked back and forth with the eyes of a terrified puppy as Kanan and You flanked her on either side, all of them at what had been dubbed in true movie fashion as the Jock Table, or at least the table where the sportiest of Uranohoshi's students found themselves. It was hard to create any kind of clique at all in a place with so few people, but somehow they had managed, and yet Kanan could sense Chika's distinct feeling of discomfort. 

"You know," she said, trying her best to break the silence, "we could go somewhere else if it's okay with you guys. I see these gals every class." 

"You do," one of the others at the table grunted. "It's okay, go with the kids!" 

"I'm only six months younger than most of you," You retorted, leaning forward on the table with her muscles not-so-subtly showing. "And don't forget who fixed your uniform after it got caught in that flagpole incident." 

"I don't see the problem," the same girl muttered. "You three sit with us every day. It's the first time I've seen Chika over here look so . . . not cheery." 

"My old neighbors are moving out," Chika murmured. 

"Hmm?" 

"They're moving out!" she repeated, louder, and a few surrounding tables turned to look at her. "This sweet old couple right next door who always gave me candy, they're going away to retire in some old people's home in _Florida_ where they're gonna play bridge or bingo or whatever it is old people do, and they'll leave me behind!" Chika buried her face in her hands. "What if my new neighbor ends up being a creep or a psycho or something? What if they're mean? What if-" 

"Whoa, whoa, calm down there." Kanan rested her hand on top of Chika's, and she breathed out a shuddering sigh. "They just sold the house, right? Nobody's going to come for a while, probably." 

"I saw a moving truck this morning," Chika moaned. "There's someone coming, alright, and I don't who it is at all." 

"Hey, how's this for an idea?" You chimed in. "When we're all at your house on Saturday, we'll watch for the new neighbor, and if they turn out to be creepy or crazy or mean, you can come and live at my house!" 

"Don't you live on a boat?" 

"You can come and live on my boat!" Chika appeared to mull this over for a moment. 

"Mm-kay," she finally said. "It'd be kinda cool to live on a boat, after all." 

"It's settled, then." You crossed her arms definitely, leaning back before she realized there was nothing behind her and she nearly toppled over, earning her a few chortles from the table. "You never saw that." 

"We absolutely did," Chika snorted. 

"Hey, that's no way to talk to your soon-to-be roommate!" 

_"Possible_ roommate," Chika countered. 

"Probable roommate." 

"You never know! Maybe the new neighbor's actually really sweet and knows how to bake cookies or something!" 

"I thought you were worried about them being awful." You raised the corners of her lips into that ever-familiar grin, and Kanan knew that Chika had lost whatever strange little competition the two of them were having. 

"Speaking of which, I'm going to the diner this afternoon with Dia and Mari, d'you think you two'll be okay without me?" 

"We'll be totally fine, Kanan," Chika airily sighed, waving her away with a flippant hand. "Won't we, You?" 

"Erm, yeah." 

"Wait, did you say _Mari?"_ Chika slammed her hands onto the table with a glint in her eye. 

"Mari _and_ Dia," Kanan corrected her. Chika didn't seem to hear. 

"It's like a date, then!" 

"Dia's going to be there," Kanan repeated. Chika shrugged. 

"It's still at the diner. I see people from Numazu going on dates there all the time." 

"Chika, _we've_ hung out at the diner." 

"Still." Chika folded her arms stubbornly. "You're gonna tell us all about it tomorrow, right?" 

"Promise." Kanan reached out her hand like she was making a business deal, and Chika shook it. Her hand was just as soft as it had been when she was a little kid, Kanan noticed idly, just as untouched by the world. 

Or maybe she just kept her hands soft.

"Oh, hey! That reminds me, I had an idea about something and I wanted to ask you about-" Whatever Chika was about to say next was cut off by the shriek of the bell, and the three girls were forced to part ways. 

***

Mari eyed the short girl with her nose in a book with a mix of awe and disbelief. She'd sat next to her for the past several weeks, and yet the girl's demeanor never changed. Each class, she would sit down, pull a comically thick book from her bag, and start to read it. Somehow, she still managed to get top marks. 

"Psst," she whispered, leaning over close enough so that she could see the book's page numbers. The girl didn't seem to notice. "Psst, hey. Erm, smart girl." 

"Hmm?" 

"Did you do the reading last night?" 

"Mm-hmm." 

_Not in the mood for conversation, is she?_ Mari thought. "What happened? I was busy with . . . stuff." She was busy with swooning over Kanan while bothering Dia, but she wasn't about to tell this girl that. 

"The terrible guy and the rich guy got into an argument and someone got hit with a car," the girl whispered back. 

"Thanks." Mari sat straight (ha) back up in her seat, sneaking one last glance at the girl. She'd have to ask for her name, later, to thank her again. 

***

The classes started to dispel as the day wound to a close, little groups of friends all clustered together chatting about their after-school plans as if there were more than four things to do in this little town. Soon enough, everyone was gone, and Kanan was for the time being. 

"Number one," she said under her breath, shifting the bag off her shoulder. "Going to the diner." That was where she was bound, just as soon as she put away her textbooks. 

"Number two," she continued. "Going to the beach." The beach was the only reason why anyone ever visited Uchiura - small and beautiful, it held unspoken treasures in its pink-and-orange sunset, and Kanan had spent countless days just swimming in its ocean, aimless, until the water threatened to overtake her. 

"Number three." She plonked the books down in the locker, letting out a groan of relief as soon as they dropped. They'd been giving her a backache. "Hanging around at home." 

"Number four." Kanan cast a sidelong look at Mari's locker, right next to hers and with a padlock attached to it, as if someone was going to steal some old textbooks and fake pink fur. "Loitering at the convenience store." She was just about the slam her door when a little scrap of paper floated down to her feet, written in Chika's unmistakable handwriting. 

_Kanan-_

_How do you feel about joining a band?_

"Huh," she said aloud, to nobody but herself. "I guess there's a number five after all."


	2. Chia Takari

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dia gets some much-needed screentime, Chika is hopeless, and Scottish folk songs are sang a truly ridiculous amount.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> here it is, chapter two!

Dia Kurosawa waited at a table for three with three parfaits and her fingers impatiently drumming on its surface until the little rusty bell chimed and Kanan burst in, still jogging in place. 

"Hey!" she called, waving as she took the seat next to Dia. "Sorry I'm late." 

"You're just on time." A look at the clock told Kanan otherwise, but she decided not to bring it up again. Some pop song she'd heard at least five times on the radio that morning blared through the half-broken speakers of the diner's jukebox, while the Numazu kids all clustered around it like it was a god. "Eli's not here today." 

"The waitress?" 

"She's one of the owners." Dia swirled her spoon around the parfait, looking deep into its creamy center. She'd never been one for eye contact, really, and Kanan could practically see the discomfort coming off of her in waves. "It would've been . . . nice, to see her today." 

"Aw, does someone have a crush?" Kanan waggled her eyebrows, earning her a well-deserved elbow to the side. Dia winced as soon as she made contact. 

"D-don't try to insinuate such a thing!" she huffed shakily. "She's at least ten years older than me! I admire her work ethic, that's all! I could see myself running a place like this, someday." 

"Really?" Kanan blinked. "I'd always figured you'd try and, I dunno, run for president or something." Dia shrugged. 

"It seems like a nice life to have, here. I could ask Eli to take me on as her apprentice." 

"Would she let you?" 

"I wouldn't know." The song raised in volume, and Kanan looked over to see the Numazu crowd growing bigger. 

"You know," she said, "-there're a bunch of these rumors going around about the school closing." 

"Those happen every year." Dia wasn't meeting her gaze. "There's nothing to worry about." 

"I'm not worried or anything. We're fine. It's just . . . it seems like Numazu's expanding its ranks every time I'm here." 

"You play for their team," Dia retorted. "You could ask them yourself." 

"Eh, I guess." Kanan rested her chin in her hand. "Wouldn't wanna draw attention to myself." 

"Kanan, you wear at least five rainbow pins on your jacket at any given moment. You're not exactly subtle." 

"That's not what I mean." The air conditioner was broken, and Kanan's parfait had started to melt. "They see me as one of their own. It'd suck to point out that I don't go there." 

"Hmm, I suppose." Dia drummed her spoon along the edge of the table as the song faded out. "Still, if you have any more questions, don't direct them to the student council. We don't have any real control." 

"That's a depressing way of looking at it." 

"Yeah." Kanan and Dia both fell silent, scoffing in unison when Toto's _Africa_ came on over the jukebox's speakers. 

"Oh, _hello!"_ Mari all but crashed through the doors, dropping into her seat across from Kanan as if she'd shown up right on time. "Sorry for the delay, there was some . . . business going on." 

"Was it about the school?" Kanan asked, leaning forward just a bit - _to ask about the school's well-being,_ she told herself, not because Mari was wearing a new perfume that seemed to draw her closer like a siren to the rocks. Mari shrugged. 

"You know that I don't pay attention to those things." 

"You should," Dia muttered. 

"Hmm?" 

"You have an easy opportunity to get ahead when you're out of college. I don't see why you'd waste that." 

"Maybe I don't want to follow in my dad's footsteps," Mari sniffed, taking a bite of her parfait. "Maybe I could be, oh, I don't know, an actress! Or a model!" 

"What about a singer in a band?" Kanan blurted out. Mari and Dia both turned to look at her with matching expressions of confusion on their faces. 

"Where'd that idea come from?" Dia started to self-consciously scratch her cheek, dropping her gaze again. She seemed to do that quite a bit, these days. "I mean, a band? What would you do? Who would fund it?" 

"Ah, that sounds _delightful!"_ Mari clasped her hands together giddily. "Doesn't it, Kanan?" 

"I guess." 

"Why'd you bring it up?" 

"You two know Chika and You, right?" Mari and Dia both sat still for a few seconds, most likely musing through the ninety-odd students in the school to try and remember them. 

"Ah, the nautical one and the peppy one, right?" Mari guessed. Kanan nodded. "I saw one of them defending this strange girl this morning. I'd never seen her before." 

"Riko Sakurauchi," Dia interjected. "She just transferred here from a big city. I had to show her around yesterday." 

"Huh." Mari twirled her spoon around and around until Kanan could only really make out its vague silvery shape glinting in the harsh lighting of the diner. "That's why you were all caught up in the paperwork, then?" 

"That was for other reasons. It's not easy, approving all of these clubs. You wouldn't believe the ridiculous things people try to slip by us." 

"That's teenagers for you," Mari sighed. "Always trying to do the craziest things just to see if they can." 

"You commissioned a giant statue of yourself to _put in your house_ and you still have it," Kanan deadpanned. "You're not exactly one to talk. It creeps me out, by the way. Those eyes are so . . . _blank."_ She shuddered. Mari shrugged her off, shaking her head as a means of telling her that there was nothing wrong with the statue at all. It was a sort of quiet language the two of them had developed over time, little body movements somehow meaning more than they should. 

"Eh, I think it looks nice." 

"It really doesn't," Dia muttered. "We shouldn't be talking about us, though. We should be talking about-"

"Kanan's game tomorrow!" Mari chirped, pumping her fist in the air and standing up from her chair. It wobbled underneath her, making an unpleasant screeching sound on the tile. _Africa_ still blared, and it was either a very long song, or someone had queued it up a few times. Considering the smirks of the Numazu students, it was probably the latter. 

"Actually, I meant the Sakurauchi girl. We should try and make her feel welcome." 

"I'm always welcoming, Dia! When haven't I been the most welcoming person in the room?" 

"There have been times." 

"Well, that wasn't cryptic at all," Mari retorted. "Anyway, anyway, I'll be driving there if anyone wants to come!" Dia quirked an eyebrow. 

"I thought you went on the bus with Kanan." 

"Her team may have . . . erm . . . banned me indefinitely from joining them." 

"I'm still trying to fix that, don't worry." Kanan patted Mari on the shoulder, cautious, letting her hand hover there for just a moment before pulling it back. _No use in being all weird._ "I thought your radio was a great idea." 

"They didn't, though," Mari sighed. "I mean, it's not like they're good singers, either. Still, I'll be there! I swear it on my life!" Kanan's chest constricted in the way it often did, her heart seizing up and making it harder and harder to breathe. She exhaled, and Mari hardly took notice. "You'll do great, I know it." 

"I hope so. The season's nearly over, every game counts." 

"What're you going to do once it's over?" 

"I don't know." Kanan let herself slump over the table a bit, but the edges uncomfortably poked at her ribs, and so she sat back up. "I guess I'll just focus on college." 

"Let's not talk about that!" Mari blurted out, suddenly standing on her feet and slamming her hands down on the table. It wobbled, just like everything seemed to in this diner. "Okay?" 

"Okay," Dia and Kanan shakily replied in unison. Mari didn't sit back down. 

"I have to be somewhere, now, but I'll see you two around, alright?" Waggling her fingers and blowing them both a kiss, Mari trotted away as quickly as she came with her purse swaying in tune with her step. Kanan touched her cheek gingerly. 

"You're hopeless," Dia muttered, but Kanan's mind was a million miles away. 

***

Mari told a lie when she got home. 

This was not an uncommon occurrence, but she still felt a twinge of guilt in her gut when she made up some fib about feeling ill and curled up in the garden, plugging in her earbuds again and drowning out any stray sounds from the meeting going on inside the house. It would be worth it, she figured, to keep herself sane. It wasn't like she'd be able to do anything if she did happen to overhear a tidbit she'd rather not know about, and it was always said that ignorance is bliss. 

She was willing to stake a few wasted hours on that. 

***

Kanan tapped her foot impatiently all throughout the next morning, waiting to see Chika and You somewhere in the halls, but for how small of a school it was, they still remained elusive. 

"Pity," she muttered as she scanned the cafeteria for their familiar faces. "I could've asked them if they wanted to come along for the game." 

"Looking for someone?" Mari crept up behind her, planting a firm hand on her shoulder and devilishly grinning when she jumped. 

"One of these days I'm gonna end up flipping out on you by accident." Kanan pressed her fingers to her temples, letting out a long sigh. "I was just trying to find Chika and You." 

"The juniors?" 

"Yeah." 

"Hmm, I can't say that I've seen them today." 

"I guess I'd better call them tonight, it'd suck to-" 

"Yoshiko! I know it's you!" A figure in a leather jacket rushed past, hands clapped over her ears.

"I know not who you speak of, slave to the machine!" the same figure yelled behind her, waving a craft feather as if to ward off evil spirits. Someone - Kanan vaguely recognized her as Dia's sister's friend - followed the figure as fast as her stubby legs could carry her. "And my name is Yohane!" 

"S-slow down, you two- _eep!"_ Dia's sister herself followed, stumbling over herself every few seconds. 

"Hello, Ruby!" Mari cheerfully called, waving like she was the queen. 

"What's up with them?" 

"I wouldn't know." Mari shrugged. "Drama, I suppose." 

"Right." 

"Say, since your friends are . . . gone, or something, why don't you join me and Dia in our classroom?" _Their classroom_ was an uncannily large janitor's closet Mari had found early in their first year, just big enough to comfortably fit the three of them and a welcome relief from the bustle of everyday school life. As time had passed, so had the need for that secret place, and so it was rare for any of them to go there for any reason at all. 

"Okay." 

***

Mari stumbled out of the closet - ironic, she thought in some corner of her mind, before shutting that part down quickly - forty minutes later, and she stomped her foot a few times to get the feeling back. 

"Still haven't gotten your land legs, eh, Ohara?" You Watanabe leaned against the wall with her arms folded across her chest. 

"I think Kanan was looking for you," Mari dimly recalled. As if on cue, Kanan stepped out behind her. 

"Hey! I couldn't find you and Chika at lunch today, what was up with the note about the-"

"Sorry, but I've gotta motor! I'll tell you later, but fifth-period calc waits for no woman." With a quick salute and a skip away, You was gone. 

"Is she always that . . . abrupt?" Dia asked. Kanan shook her head. 

"Something's up," she said, watching You's retreating figure run down the hall. "I'm going to figure out what it is." 

"When?" 

"Tomorrow, probably. We're having a sleepover at Chika's place." 

" _What,_ they're not coming to your game tonight?" Mari held a fist to her chest, as if deeply offended. "Why not?" 

"I dunno. They're busy a lot, and Chika doesn't pay much attention anyway." 

"Well, neither do I, but I still try and show up." 

"I'll see you tonight, okay?" Kanan gave her a smile that seemed to light up the already-bright halls. Mari's heart fluttered.

"It's a deal." 

***

_"Oh, you take the high road, and I'll take the low road, and I'll be in-"_

"Could you _please_ stop that?" Kanan muttered, flicking a torn section of the bus seat between her fingers. Her seatmate looked up. 

"You're not gonna join in?" 

"Don't think so." 

"You're a drag, Matsuura." Kanan's seatmate sidled up next to her. "How d'you think you'll get a girlfriend that way, hmm?" She didn't - couldn't - respond to that. "You've gotta lighten up a bit." 

"I'm fine the way I am, thanks." The song was already starting to loop around in her brain, and she let out a low groan under her breath. "We have to focus on the game." 

"C'mon, we'll do it together! _For me and my true love will never meet again, on the-"_

"I'm good." 

"Bo-ring." 

"Hmph." Kanan turned her face and attention to the window, watching the city go by until it turned to a highway. A van with a boat tied to the top of it passed them by, and she couldn't help but think about You and the awkward, uneven way she'd spoken. "Are we nearly there? I've never been to this place before." 

"I've got no idea, but you know what'd make it go faster?" 

"Please don't-" 

_"On the bonnie, bonnie banks of Loch Lomand!"_

It was going to be a very long ride. 

***

Mari slid into the bleachers with an oversized, puffy jacket wrapped around her body like a cloak. She supposed it must've rained here a day or two ago, for how damp they were, and she shivered. The players all lined up with their helmets pressed onto their heads, ready to begin, but Mari's eyes were on one player and one player only. 

The whistle blew. 

If she was being completely honest, Mari still had no idea how football worked, nor did she entirely care, but Kanan _did_ care, and that was enough for her. Cheering on the sidelines, that was enough. It'd have to be. 

She suddenly wished that Kanan's team would win the game so that she could go home, and perhaps swoon a bit to herself, and push away the funny sort of feeling that always tangled up in her chest whenever Kanan was around. 

***

The game was an easy win, and the next day passed in a blur. It wasn't long at all before Kanan found herself at Chika's doorstep, sleeping bag and questions in hand. A series of barks rang through the house until Chika opened the door, Shiitake at her heels. 

"Sorry I'm late," Kanan started. Shiitake danced eagerly around Chika's legs, staying inside as if blocked by an invisible barrier. "The walk took longer than I thought and-" 

"It's fine, it's fine!" Chika waved off her worries with a flippant hand, and Shiitake barked again as soon as Kanan stepped inside. 

"Hey, girl," she cooed, scratching the dog on the head. Shiitake flopped down on the ground, leaving herself open for attack. "Aw, you wanna get a belly rub, hmm? Don't you?" 

"Sometimes I think Shiitake likes you more than she likes me," Chika laughed, watching Shiitake's tongue roll out of her mouth as Kanan kept petting her. "I swear, it's like you're a totally different person around her." 

"Hah, you should see me around Mari." 

"Yep, she's a hopeless nark around Mari," You confirmed from the gray couch, rolling her eyes. Kanan hadn't even seen her. "Doesn't quite engage in this level of . . . uh . . . intimacy, but the idea's still there. I saw them yesterday in that janitor's closet on the way to class." 

"Ooh, were you kissing in there?" Chika's eyes lit up as she stood so close that Kanan could see the individual hairs starting to escape from her little braid. "That's so romantic! It's like something right out of a book!" 

"We weren't doing anything!" Kanan yelped. "We were just, ah, having lunch!" 

"Alone?" 

"Dia was there, too!" she insisted. Chika seemed to mull this over for a moment. 

"Okay, so maybe you weren't kissing in there, but you _could_ be, in the future! I mean, it's the perfect place, right? Discreet, intimate . . . I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it." 

"I think that's enough about my personal life," Kanan butted in. Shiitake sat up and thumped her tail on the ground. "What was the thing about the band? I got your note, but . . ." 

"Say no more!" Chika pointed up the staircase, already starting upstairs. "I'll tell you in the privacy of my bedroom!" Kanan and You followed her, quiet so as not to disrupt the guests sleeping in their assorted rooms. It was funny to think about, really - Chika shared her house with strangers every night, and yet she didn't seem to think anything of it. 

_Maybe I should teach her self-defense,_ Kanan mused to herself, but that train of thought was abruptly cut off by Chika flinging the door to her room open, revealing clusters of stuffed animals piled on top of notebooks held together mostly with clear tape. It was a mess covered in dog hair and the quintessential smell of a teenage girl, and Kanan loved it. Shiitake bounded in behind the trio, settling on Chika's bed like she was the queen of the inn. 

"Bad Shiitake!" Chika chided, trying (and failing) to shove the heavy dog off, eventually giving up and sinking to the floor. Kanan squatted down to face her, and You carved out a spot amidst wrinkled t-shirts for herself. 

"So, now that we're here, what's all this about a band?" Chika and You exchanged glances, sharing smiles, before they leaned up close to Kanan's face once again and announced their plans with a series of gestures. 

"We're gonna form a band and be the talk of the school!" Chika stretched out a hand to the lightbulb at the top of her ceiling. 

"More and more people'll come to Uchiura!" You slid in position next to Chika. 

"We'll be famous!" 

"We'll have a good time!" 

"So, whaddaya think?" Chika sat back down and faced Kanan expectantly. "How does that sound?" 

"It's okay if you don't know right away," You hastily added. "Chika had to drag me into it headfirst for me to get it at all." 

"Get what?" 

"The appeal of it, obviously!" Chika balled her hands into fists as she talked, swinging them back and forth. "Okay, so, the other day I was walking home from school, right? Except, my bag rips and my papers go flying _everywhere,_ so I start chasing 'em down, except now I'm in a part of town I don't know about and I start realizing that I'm totally lost." 

"It's a tiny town." Kanan spread her arms out to the window, where the water rippled quietly outside. It was a gentle night for the tides - all the better for the shop, she figured, less of a risk of people getting injured and her family's business somehow getting blamed for it. She couldn't really tell with the lack of lighting, but it sounded like it was raining. "How did you get lost?" 

"I've got a pretty bad sense of direction, hehe," Chika sheepishly chuckled, kneading her hands in her skirt nervously. "Anyway! I step forward and I've finally got a hold on most of my papers, and right up ahead of me is this little stage where they're playing something on a big screen. It was a concert! It was this _amazing_ concert, Kanan, and the best part? The band members were high school kids like us! We could do that!" 

"Chika, I don't know if-" 

"I didn't catch their name, but I think they were, uh, Myu-something? I dunno." Chika furrowed her brow for a moment before giving up. "If you need more incentive, you can carry me around while you think about it." 

"That benefits you more than it does her," You commented from the side. Chika shrugged. 

"You're sure that you're not going to get hurt?" Kanan was already starting to gather the smaller girl up in her arms. Chika nodded sharply. 

"I've gotta have nerves of steel if I want to be like those girls on the screen!" Despite herself - despite everything - Kanan let out a laugh. 

"You really are ridiculous sometimes, Chika," she sighed, finally picking her up and lifting her up and down. "You know - _urf_ \- it sounds like a nice idea, but we're kind of at a disadvantage, aren't we? It's not like we have - _urk_ \- much background in music." 

"I can sing!" Chika countered. "And You plays the guitar!" 

"I haven't played the guitar since sixth grade." 

"And You plays the guitar!" Chika repeated, louder this time, grimacing. 

"Where would I - _oof_ \- fit in?" 

"C'mon, Kanan!" Good-naturedly, Chika elbowed her, and Kanan nearly lost her balance. "Don't act like we haven't heard you singing your heart out to _Rhiannon_ in the showers after school." 

"You never heard anything," Kanan lied. Chika was becoming lighter by the second - you became used to that sort of weight once you'd carried it around that long, she supposed. "Besides, we need more than a guitar and tw- _one_ singer. What about percussion? Keyboard? Hell, who would write us the lyrics?" 

"You don't sound that happy about it." 

"It's a good idea! It's just not practical." Chika seemed to sink in her arms. 

"Aw, darnit." 

"I'm sorry." 

"Don't be, 'kay? It was probably a silly idea anyway." 

"It wasn't silly," You offered from the other side of the room. "It wasn't." 

"Yeah, but-" The relaxing sound of the rushing ocean and the rain surrounding them had changed - something else was going on outside the house, music beginning to punctuate the water in all its forms. Chika frowned and swiveled her head to the source of the sound, and promptly fell from Kanan's arms when she saw, pointing like she'd seen a ghost. "There's a girl out there!" 

"What?" Kanan followed her finger to the balcony across from Chika's room, where an open door revealed a girl she'd most definitely seen somewhere before hunched over an old piano. Chika stepped closer to the window. The girl didn't give her any notice, but Kanan could see even from this distance that she had that air about her - the kind that made people fall in love with soft music playing in the background, and on Chika's face she saw something all too familiar. 

On the old piano she played, until her fingers seemed like they would give out, but still she continued on and on, and Chika seemed mesmerized. She looked to be soaring, the girl with the barrette, eyes closed in a rare moment of perfect serenity. It was a wonder they could see through the rain at all. 

“Come on,” Kanan whispered, starting to lead her away from the rainy window. “It’s rude to stare.” 

“Just another minute.” Chika paused. “Please?” 

“Fine,” Kanan relented, letting Chika watch her girl in peace. You stood off to the side, arms folded, and Kanan made a mental note to check up on her later. The girl in the window stopped. 

“What’re all of you doing out there? Is something the matter?” She spoke with an air of sophistication - city folk, Kanan thought idly, the same sort of dialect Mari had carried along with her after spending a semester abroad in Europe. Chika let out a shriek. 

“Nope!” she yelped, stumbling back. “Nothing’s the matter at all!” 

“You’ve gotta step back if you think she’s actually gonna buy that,” You whispered. “If you get back in here and stop staring, she might believe you.” Chika ignored her. 

“You’re in my class, right? Erm, Chia Takari?” Chika blinked, then seemed to regain her focus. 

“Uh, yep! That’s me! Chia Takari!” Still inside, You rolled her eyes. “You’re from the big city, aren’t you?” 

“I suppose you could say that.” The girl was standing at the edge of the balcony, now - her voice was too quiet otherwise, Kanan figured. The rain would drench her soon enough if she didn't go back to her piano soon. Chika’s eyes lit up. 

“That’s awesome!” she chirped. 

“Oh, it’s really nothing much. Though, this is certainly a . . . different place.”

“I could show you around school if you want!” Chika was practically vibrating. It was endearing, in a sort of baby-gay-discovering-what-it-means-to-be-in-love way, mostly because that was exactly what was going on, and Kanan felt a swelling of pride. She remembered those days, all too well, and if she was being honest with herself she still felt that way. 

“. . . Monday, at lunch, then?” 

“It’s a date!” Chika froze. “I mean, deal! It’s a deal!” 

“Perfect.” The girl started back inside. 

“Wait!” 

“Hmm?”

“What’s your name?” 

“Oh, it’s Riko. Riko Sakurauchi.” 

"Nice to meet you, Riko!" Chika waved to her eagerly. 

"You too." The girl - Riko, apparently - walked back to her room without another word, and Chika turned back to Kanan and You with a wide, infectious grin on her face. There might as well have been stars in her eyes. Shaking her head to rid herself of any remaining droplets, she punched her fist in the air in victory. 

"We've found our pianist!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the sif story where they reveal that shiitake is a girl was a blessing
> 
> can you tell that i know nothing about football whatsoever


	3. Enter the Fallen Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the as-of-now-unnamed band gets its fifth and sixth members, Mari lives on a movie screen, and beach views are a bit of a danger to emotional lesbians.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the best experience, listen to maaya sakamoto's "million clouds" when kanan and mari walk home together

Mari loved the phone - loved the rubbery feeling of the cord between her fingers, the crackly way a voice would come out through the receiver. Having her own landline was something that she took quite a bit of pride in, and having it right on her bedside table helped, too. 

It was on a day like this that she realized the scene she was in wouldn't look out of place on a movie screen at all - flipping through a magazine on her stomach, sinking into the plush mattress of her bed as she kicked her legs back and forth with a hum. The phone remained silent, and she willed it to ring. 

"Get over yourself," she berated herself. "She's not going to call! I'm sure that she's busy with a thousand sports things." 

_Are You Too Obsessive?_ the magazine asked her with blocky letters jutting in her face. 

"A bit on the nose today, aren't we?" she muttered, snapping it shut. Mari sat up, and she suddenly felt a bit lonely with everything surrounding her - magazines upon magazines she'd never fill out, the world's softest bed but nobody to share it with. It was sad. _She_ was sad, but it wasn't like there was much that could be done about that. 

_brrrring_

"Hrm?" She looked to the phone.

_brrrrrring_

"It's probably just a solicitation," she convinced herself. She felt her hands shake a bit anyway, and she picked the phone up before it could ring again. 

"Hello, you've reached the Ohara household, Mari speaking. Who's calling?" 

_"Pfft, you don't have to be that formal."_ Mari's heartbeat quickened. She knew that voice. It was the voice that called her name when she was dreaming about drowning and the voice that got her to smile like a doofus even when she was just going on about football, and it was the voice that made her mouth go dry. _"It's just me."_

"Well, how was I supposed to know that?" Mari folded her arms and made an exaggerated pout before she remembered that Kanan couldn't see her. 

_"Hah, very funny."_ Kanan paused, and Mari heard the ocean rushing over the line. _"If I tell you something weird, will you promise not to laugh?"_

"Why, Kanan, I'm offended!" Mari clutched the fabric of her shirt before remembering, again, that Kanan couldn't see her. She'd have to work on that. "When have I ever laughed at your ideas?"

_"You haven't, but you haven't really liked most of them, either."_

"I'll listen, I'll listen. What's the beef?"

_"I think it's supposed to be 'where's the beef,' Mari."_

"Hmph." 

_"Okay, okay. Chika's putting together a band, she saw some concert playing in town and now she's dead-set on the idea and somehow I ended up roped into it."_ Kanan breathed - Mari could tell that much - and something rustled in the background. Paperwork, probably. _"Ridiculous, right?"_

"It's delightful!" Mari stood up, yanking the phone cord as she did so. "Count me in!" 

_"It's not really anything that special yet. We don't even have a-"_

"Leave it to me, Kanan! I'll be there as soon as you call on me!" 

_"You're way too eager about this."_

"Perhaps." Mari rocked back and forth eagerly as visions of herself on a high-energy stage next to Kanan took full control over her brain. They were performing in front of a giant crowd, in her head, all screaming their names, them she took Kanan's face into her hands gently and kissed her hard. 

_"Mari? Are you still there?"_

"Oh! Yes! Of course!" 

_"Well, we're getting together to brainstorm this afternoon at the swim shop. Would you want to come then?"_

"That'd be perfect, Kanan." Mari set the phone down with a 'click' before giddily rolling about on her bed, hands balled into eager fists. "Woohoo!" she cheered, and there was nobody to hear her. 

***

"Alright, how about this?" You's fingers twanged at the strings of her battered guitar, which still blew off dust every time she touched it. "Sort've like an old sailor ballad, right?" 

"Ooh, and then we could burst in with the vocals!" Chika started scribbling something in her notebook, but one look told Kanan that it was just a doodle of the three of them performing on a stage in front of a faceless crowd. "It'd be nice if we could get a piano in there, too." 

"She's not going to join if you bother her," Kanan tutted. It was like looking into a mirror, really. You folded her arms again. "Lay low, she'll do what she wants." 

"What if she's already forgotten, though?" Chika whined, flopping back down onto the hardwood floor. "Hey, I think I forgot, uh, instruments at my house! Yeah, I've got a recorder from fourth grade that'd really do the trick and-" Kanan held out a hand to stop her. 

"You're showing her around school tomorrow, right? That's not much of a wait." 

"Besides," You added, plucking at the guitar again, "-we're good on our own, aren't we?" 

"We don't even have any songs!" Chika moaned, sitting back up to make a bigger show of flopping back onto the floor again. "Who knew making a band was gonna be so _hard?"_

"We did," Kanan and You replied in unison. Chika pouted. 

"Say," she began with a start. Kanan raised an eyebrow. "Wouldn't it just be totally awesome if we had more members? I mean, not just Riko! We could get a bunch of people in it, and then we'd have a drummer and a keyboardist and some more singers or something! Wouldn't that be awesome?" 

"Mari's coming over later," Kanan offered, quiet, with her gaze turned definitively towards the floor. Chika and You's grins turned into those of identical little devils. 

"You're trying to get with her using our band?" Chika snickered. "Clever, sweet Kanan." 

"Very clever," You echoed. "But will it be clever enough to win the young lady's heart?" 

"I'm not trying to 'get with her' or anything like that. She'd just be good for us." 

"Sure, sure," Chika sighed, disbelieving. "You do know we've heard you talk about her nonstop for the past seven years, right?" 

"Aye, first loves don't fade easy, do they?" There was a look of discomfort on You's face, even with her dramatic trills. "Besides, Chika, it's not like you're acting much better. Riko this, Riko that, 'ooh but she's so pretty and did you see the way her hair glistened in the moonlight?' Yeah, of course we saw, we're all lesbians here, Chika, and-" 

"Welcome, mortals!" The bell on the door chimed as quietly as it always did (to Kanan, it somehow felt too quiet for whatever the hell was going on) and the girl in the leather jacket burst through with her arms crossed boldly. "It's time for you to meet your savior, local establishment, for I, Yohane-"

"Hello!" Whatever the girl - Yohane, Kanan figured - was about to say, she was cut off by Mari barging in with all the subtlety of a fireworks display, spreading her arms out wide and heading right for the trio sitting down on the floor. "Kanan, I came as fast as I could - I swear I did - but the traffic sucked and so I ran all the way and-" 

"It's fine, Mari." Kanan stood up and patted her on the shoulder, and she let her hand linger there for just a moment longer than she needed. "You've met Chika and You, right?" 

"Hey," the duo greeted her, sitting up on their haunches. Mari waved back. 

"So, what's the deal with this little band?" She squatted as she spoke, reaching eye level with the two juniors and surveying the scene with her eyes flitting back and forth. 

"It's exactly what it sounds like," You retorted. "We're putting together a band. Can you play an instrument?" 

"Nope!" Mari smirked proudly. "I always skipped music classes in elementary school - this one gave me a ribbing for it, that's for sure! But that's beside the point. I can sing, sort of." 

"Hah, more than _sort of,"_ Kanan scoffed. "You're amazing." 

"Aw, Kanan, don't say that!" Mari good-naturedly slung an arm around her shoulder, and Kanan felt like she might sink into the floor until she wasn't much more than an incredibly gay puddle. "Flattery isn't all that flattering, you know." 

"Flirting aside," You deadpanned, "I guess that means we have another singer?" 

"Yep!" Mari pumped her fist into the air, and Kanan couldn't help but look at her. God, she looked like some kind of angel in this lighting. It was intoxicating. "So, what's our name?" 

"I dunno." Chika traced little circles on the hardwood floor, idle. "We were gonna try and get a few more people first." Mari scrunched her face up in thinly-veiled disgust.

"What, we're just going to plaster posters all around the school saying 'we have a band!' Not even a song or two?" 

"We're not really complete yet," You explained. "We still need drums and a piano-" 

"I'm taking care of the piano situation tomorrow!" Chika interrupted. Her cheeks turned red as her face broke out into a wide grin, like she was just about to burst and her mouth was the only thing keeping her intact. 

"Right, right. Still, there's the drummer thing and-" 

"Did somebody perchance say _drummer?"_ a gravelly voice asked from behind a shelf of goggles, a black feather bobbing up and down above it. 

"We did!" Chika chirped back. 

"You seem to have found the perfect place for one," the feather mused. "What dark, destined forces guided you here?" Kanan raised her hand. 

"Erm, this is my family's dive shop." The feather ignored her. 

"My, such brazen youths, rebelling against the system with their lyrical genius. You must be the revolutionaries of this time!" 

"Hey, I'm loving the monologue and all, but who exactly are you?" You asked, tipping back her cap to see better. The feather moved across the shelves to reveal herself in her full glory - the girl who'd entered just a few minutes before. 

"Yohane," Kanan recalled. Yohane seemed to brighten at the name, hopping up and down on her toes. 

"Yes! Yes!" she cheered, bending down to shake Kanan's hand. "That is most certainly my name! Fallen Angel Yohane, at your service." 

"Fallen . . . what? Is that a stage name?" 

"No!" Yohane squeaked, her voice going up several octaves. Any possible way she might've seemed intimidating before faded right away. "You see, the masses are blind to-" 

"Hey, Dia's sister has a class with you." Mari scooted closer, narrowing her eyes. Kanan couldn't help but notice a packet of cigarettes bulging from underneath Yohane's leather jacket. "Yoshiko Tsushima, right?" 

"W-who's that?" Yohane - Yoshiko? - sputtered. "I know of no such name!" 

"Hmm, no, I'm certain it was a Yoshiko Tsushima." Mari looked her up and down again. "You wouldn't happen to know Ruby, would you? Tiny little thing, red hair, can hardly get out a sentence on her own?" You blinked. 

"She goes to our school? I always thought she was a teacher's kid or something." 

"Ah, the younger Kurosawa. Yes, I know her well. She is always flanked by the most lovely maiden in the world." 

"Most lovely maiden in the world?" Chika echoed. Yoshiko nodded solemnly. 

"Hanamaru Kunikida. This will remain only between the six of us, but I fear my hatred of the machine may be outranked by the way I feel for her." Kanan laughed a bit to herself. "What?!" Yoshiko yelped, stomping her foot and raising her voice again. "I'm _so-rry_ that the cutest girl in school still thinks of me like she did in kindergarten and I don't think of her the same way _at all,_ and she always sticks her tongue out a little when she's really into a book and her voice is so soft and lovely, I shouldn't be falling in love with someone like that but here I am." Everyone was stunned into silence for a moment until Chika opened her mouth.

"That's-" 

"What, you're all turned against me now that you know I'm a big ole' homo?" Yoshiko kept stomping her foot, and Kanan winced. She'd have to clean up the skid marks that evening. "I'd have thought you'd find better people to hang out with, Matsuura. You get it, right?" 

"-perfect!" Chika finished. Yoshiko slowly lowered her foot. "All-" she looked at Mari and paused _"-most_ of us aren't straight, either!" She extended a hand, and Yoshiko quivered a bit. "What do you say, Yohane? Want to join us?" 

"Well," Yoshiko muttered, looking up as if the ceiling fan interested her a great deal, "-I suppose this would be an effective way to fight the system." 

"You'd get to impress this maiden you're going on about," You added, waggling her eyebrows. Yoshiko all but slammed her hand into Chika's for what might have been the most violent handshake Kanan had ever seen, and she hung around football players on the daily. 

"You've got your drummer," she breathed. 

***

"Really, Kanan, you don't need to walk me home. I mean, we were at _your_ dive shop! Wouldn't it make the most sense for someone else to do it if you really think I'm some damsel in need of rescuing?" 

"I don't think that," Kanan retorted, lightning-fast. Mari couldn't help but think about how she looked against the rippling light of the ocean. "You can take care of yourself. I just figured it'd be nice, since I was the one who invited you." 

"That Yoshiko girl was sweet." Mari looked down at the ground, her white boots stark against the gray pavement. "She reminds me of Dia, a little bit." 

"Really?" 

"Yeah. Not the hating-society thing - Dia loves order." 

"Hah, you don't have to tell me." Kanan jammed her hands in her jean pockets, and Mari could see her fingers picking at the lining. "She chewed me out for an hour once because I stuck some gum to the bottom of a desk." 

"Right, right, but that sort of . . . crazy eagerness. She used to be like that about music history, remember?" Mari looked to the stars, if only to resist the urge to hold Kanan's hand. Oh, she was smitten. "Always coming in with new cassettes, 'the rarest ones,' and playing them for us on afternoons when there wasn't really anything to do on my giant stereo." 

"Do you still have it?" 

"That old thing?" Mari scoffed, flipping her hair behind her. "Oh, no, I've long since replaced it." She never did try very hard to break from what people assumed of her, and it wasn't like she hadn't heard the whispers in the hallway. The Ohara girl, the pampered one, with everything handed to her and nothing to do with it. Aimless, driveless, just floating along through life. It was easier to act like that, anyhow. 

Certainly easier than this, trying to match Kanan's long strides while the sun went down and her heart slammed into her ribcage like it was trying to get out. 

"I wonder if she'd be interested in this." Kanan pulled a hand from her pocket and shook off the blue lint that clung to it. "The band, I mean." 

"Even if she was, would she join? She's so obsessed with her duty and everything." Mari folded her hands behind her head. "Life's going to just zip right by her if she's not careful." 

"What are you now, Ferris Bueller?" Kanan nudged her with a smirk. "Dia's fine." 

"I hope so." Mari stopped in her tracks, letting the ever-present breeze make its way through her as she turned to face the ocean. As small as Uchiura was, it had its perks, and one of them was this to-die-for view. "Ooh, Kanan, look!" Snapping out of her funk - or trying to, at least - Mari grabbed Kanan's arm and dragged her down the little flight of steps leading to the beach, kicking off her shoes as she did so. Kanan let out a yelp. 

"Mari- hey, Mari, what're you doing?" Mari didn't humor her with an answer, just running forward and dragging her along until they reached the gently lapping waves. Kanan skidded to a halt just behind her. "What got into you?" 

"I wanted to see this!" Mari knew it was as cliche as anything could be, but her heart felt like it might as well have been soaring. Kanan let out a disbelieving chuckle. 

"You're ridiculous," she laughed, stepping closer until Mari could see the sweat on her face, and then she promptly took Mari's hand and dragged her in. The water was cold, as was to be expected in the fall, and Mari let out a squeak as she was plunged into the freezing waves. She stuck her head out not a second later, spitting water out and pouting at Kanan, who now laughed hysterically. 

"You know I can't swim!" Mari huffed, but she couldn't summon any anger in her voice at all. 

"You should know how," Kanan sighed, lazily lying on her back with a smug expression on her face. "You live on a beach, Mari, I still don't get how you can't swim." 

"I just can't. I never learned." 

"Maybe I should teach you, then." 

"That'd be . . . great, actually." Mari looked up at the sky, where the cotton-candy sunset was just tapering out. "Oh, Kanan, would you look at that? It's beautiful." Kanan settled next to her - despite all the dramatics, the water wasn't much more than a foot deep and they could both sit comfortably, and Mari thought that _this_ was what the movies must've been going for. It was so, so obvious, the girl falling hard for her childhood friend, but then again it wasn't like there were a lot of friends that _weren't_ from childhood here in such a tiny town. Regardless, Mari was in love, so madly in love, and she would've lived in this moment forever if she could. 

***

As it was, though, the two of them had to dry off and go home eventually. Kanan dropped Mari off at her vast, lonely house, and she headed back to the dive shop, she couldn't even try to quiet the excited thumping in her chest, the fuzzy lightness in her feet. 

It terrified her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter was short, i've been playing pokemon ultra moon all weekend and i can't stop


	4. The Watanabe House

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kanan drives Mari home, band practice sort of happens, and magicians are discussed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it occurred to me that i haven't been filling my weekly kanan-using-chika-in-her-workouts quota, that will be remedied next chapter, for now we start suddenly after a football game
> 
> i spent most of this week playing animal crossing and more pokemon and going to thanksgiving things so. yep.

Supply runs were not something Kanan did all that often - not at the dive shop, certainly, when everything was more or less delivered by boat - but not usually for her friends, either. This was precisely why she wondered what wacky decision the universe had made to designate her as the driver when the rest of her football team had made some bad choices at an afterparty and found themselves conked out in the backseat of her pickup truck. A pop song dimly played over the crackly radio, and she drummed her fingers to it idly. 

"I'm getting you all home," she muttered, more to herself than anyone else, when the girl next to her stirred sleepily and leaned into her lap. 

It was also important to note that Mari was there, too. 

"Mm . . . turn up that song, 'kay?" 

"You don't need to keep acting like you joined them in their . . . incredibly poor ideas, right?" Kanan took her hand off the steering wheel for a moment to jab her thumb at the slumbering team in the back. "I know you just sang karaoke the whole time." 

"Well, what can I say?" City lights flashed by the truck, little blinking orbs of light. It was hardly the beginning of November, but some stores had already started up their Christmas displays. Numazu was certainly something else. "You won! That's something, isn't it?" The truck lurched, and Kanan tightened her grip on the steering wheel. 

"Not really." 

"Ah, full of ourselves today, are we?" Mari - despite her most certainly not-intoxicated state - looked rather disheveled, her button-up shirt clumsily buttoned up and her hair falling out of its usual braid-loop. There was a glimmer in her eyes that told Kanan she really did want to be there, and that had been enough for her to insist on letting Mari tag along to the afterparty. 

"The season's nearly done. We have one more game and then poof." Kanan made an exploding motion with her hand. "That's it. I don't get to see the team anymore." 

"They're a bunch of narks anyway, Kanan." Mari laughed at herself, her smile a bit loopy. "I didn't think you liked them." 

"I don't." Kanan breathed in, breathed out, and tried to keep her eyes off of Mari and on the road ahead, but it was very, very difficult. "I like the game." 

"You ought to start a football team here." 

"In my truck?" 

"At Uranohoshi, you loon!" Mari tried to elbow her, but she missed. "Let it be your legacy or something, wouldn't that be nice?" 

"I think I've got my hands full with everything else. Grades, college, the band-" 

"Exactly! The band! Cheery and Yoko-"

"Chika and You." 

"Chika and You, they're taking life by the horns and trying to start something even when everything's against them! They've already got five people for their weird band that doesn't even have a name, doesn't that make you feel inspired?"

"Mari, _we're_ two of those five weird band members." 

"I know. Why do you think I'm doing it? Because it seems like something amazing. Even if nobody ever finds out who we are and nobody remembers us at all, we'll still have done something, right?" 

"You're philosophical when you're half-asleep in my pickup, has anyone ever told you that?" 

"Never." Mari closed her eyes again, and soon Kanan was left alone again. 

***

Mari didn't open her eyes until someone all but jolted her awake. 

"Hrm?" she blearily mumbled, trying to remember where she was and who was with her and why her head was so damn foggy. 

"Mari." Kanan's face slowly came into focus, sitting over her with nervousness painted over her face as she all but tore away her seatbelt. "You passed out after we talked in the pickup." 

"Where's your team?" 

"I dropped them all off. You're the last stop. I'll see you tomorrow at . . . at band practice, okay?" 

"Where?" Mari furrowed her brow and tried to remember anything said about that beforehand, but she was drawing a blank. 

"Oh, crap, I forgot to tell you." Kanan smacked herself in the forehead. "It's at You's. Four in the afternoon, Chika said she had 'a surprise' for us. I could write down You's address, it's right on the water." She rummaged for some scrap paper as she talked, undoing Mari's tangled seatbelt all the while. For someone who regularly took part in a sport that involved grasping for a rough ball and attacking the other players, her fingers were incredibly deft. "Can't really miss it." 

"The sailor girl." 

"Yeah." 

"It's hard for me to imagine her living in a regular house." Mari's head had started to clear, and she sat up. "I feel like she should be on, I dunno, a cruiser her whole life." 

"That's because she is." Kanan paused. "Well, technically speaking. It's a houseboat." 

"Really?" 

"Mm-hmm. Her dad's even more into nautical stuff than she is. I guess that's where she gets it." 

"Sounds exciting." 

"Here you go." Kanan handed Mari the scrap of paper - the back of some notes, it looked like, maybe having been a grocery list in a past life - and there it was, the address scrawled out in Kanan's tight little handwriting. Mari held it to her chest and nodded. "Do you need me to walk you inside?" 

"Ah, such a gentlewoman!" Mari gave her a lopsided bow, which was made considerably more difficult by the fact that they were both still sitting down. "I'm fine, though. Don't worry about me, sweet knight." Kanan leaned forward on the steering wheel, her jacket rustling against her bare arms, and she smiled.

"I think it's kinda part of my job by now," she said, and then she nudged Mari out. 

The lights of the pickup truck didn't roll away until Mari was inside and watching them from behind her house's silken curtains. 

***

"What if we just became a covers band?" Yoshiko suggested, sitting cross-legged on You's blue bedsheets and lighting up a cigarette. "It'd be easier than the five of us trying to write songs when we don't know jack about writing songs." 

"Don't smoke those in my house," You retorted, opening her window and waving away the gray clouds beginning to surround her. "My dad would kill you. Besides, aren't you the one who hates society or whatever? We need to be original." 

"You've got a point there." 

"Say, would any of you happen to know the whereabouts of our leader?" Mari poked at a little hanging anchor, lying down on her back on the carpet. Kanan shrugged. 

"Probably just running late." 

"Typical," Yoshiko sniffed. "She'll be the first one to drive the band apart when we hit it big, I'm calling it now." 

"We'll call her in ten minutes if she doesn't show up by then, alright?" Being the mediator was not Kanan's strong suit - she wasn't made for conflict, wasn't made for the tension that seemed to naturally arise wherever she went - but here she was, in a houseboat or on a bus or sitting in a school classroom on a rainy day where-

"Hello, lovely bandmates!" Chika all but declared, shoving open the door to You's bedroom and nearly taking down a whole row of model ships with her. Kanan snapped out of it. "Sorry I'm late!" 

"How'd she get in?" Mari whispered. Kanan leaned over to whisper back. 

"They've been friends since kindergarten. Chika has her own key." 

"Oh." 

"Why didn't you show up on time?" Yoshiko narrowed her eyes, beginning to stand. "Have you fallen victims to the will of the masses?" 

"No, no, not at all." Chika grinned, devious, and she looked over her shoulder for a moment. "There's someone very special I'd like you all to meet. Drumroll, please?" Yoshiko rolled her eyes and started to patter on You's bedframe with her drumsticks while the remaining three members patted their legs in rhythm. "Introducing . . . Riko Sakurauchi!" Stepping aside with a flourish, Chika revealed the same girl from the sleepover standing behind her with a thick, pink, three-ringed binder overflowing with papers. You suddenly became very focused on a piece of lint sticking out from the carpet.

"Say, you're the new girl, aren't you?" Mari stood up and smoothed down the sleeves of her sweater, sticking out a hand in greeting. "Mari Ohara." 

"Erm, it's nice to meet you." Riko looked all around the room with her hands folded neatly, eventually settling her gaze on a framed photograph of Chika and You taken sometime in fourth or fifth grade, smiling together with a big gap in You's teeth. The irony of it didn't escape Kanan. "All of you, actually." 

"I scouted her!" Chika proudly added. "Riko's on our team now, so there's nothing to worry about!" Yoshiko perked up. 

"Is she 'on our team' as in . . ." Giving Chika a very obvious wink, she pointed to Riko and raised her eyebrows. "Or is she just a part of the band?" Riko looked something like a confused puppy, and Kanan stood up before Yoshiko could say anything else. 

"It's great to have you here," she said, sending Yoshiko a quick glare. Riko startled at the sudden movement. 

"Oh, you're the football player, aren't you? You're something of a celebrity here, I think." 

"That's right." 

"It's a pleasure to meet you." Riko stuck out one arm, and Kanan shook it. She was cold, Kanan idly noticed, but her handshake was firm. "I don't really know any of you, but Chika did show me around, and, well, I needed something to do here anyway." 

"Yeah, it's not like there's a ton of adventure out here in the sticks," Yoshiko sighed. "You're stuck with us, I guess."

"So, what sort of music is it that you all play?" Riko sat down on the carpet, still looking uneasy. "Is it classical? Rock?" 

"We don't really know yet," Kanan admitted. "It's just . . . we're a band. Chika would know better than me." 

"Psst, you're not gonna tell them?" Chika whispered, although everyone in the room could hear her. "Riko's a composer!" 

"She is?" four voices asked in unison. Chika proudly nodded, as if _she_ was the composer. 

"Yep! She transferred here from some big music school in the city." 

"She's right," Riko confirmed, looking as if she was trying her hardest not to seem smug. "I think that _composer_ takes it a bit too far, though. I'm a pianist." 

"Right, we saw you play in your house," You noted, sitting up a little taller. "You were pretty good." 

"Oh, well, thank you." Riko scratched at a hangnail, self-conscious, as she looked down at the carpet. "Your dad was very nice, by the way. Homely." From the way she said it, Kanan got the sense she was unfamiliar with that - homeliness.

"How could you tell he was my dad?" You wondered. The moist air felt thick with tension. "He could've been any of our dads." 

"There's family resemblance there." Riko leaned over to see if it was true, and Chika leaned over next to her. "You've got the same hair and the same type of voice." 

"Thanks?" 

"So, city girl, what brings you here?" Yoshiko snuck another cigarette out of her pocket, and Riko started coughing before she even lit it up. The whole scene struck Kanan as very typical, though she'd met both of them just a handful of times before. 

"I used to play the piano a lot." She spoke in measured sentences, as if reciting lines for a play. "My parents ended up moving here for some job opportunities-" 

"Job opportunities?" Mari echoed, scrunching her face up in that way that meant she couldn't imagine why. "Here?" 

"That's what they said, anyway." Riko settled back down on the carpet, pressing her big pink binder to her chest. "I think they just needed any excuse to get out of the city. My mom loves it here - she hasn't spent a day indoors since we moved." 

"And what about you?" The mediator, that was Kanan's apparent role, the mediator and the asker of questions, the one to calm the tension that lit up the room. "Do you like it here?" 

"Yes," Riko said, a bit too quickly, and then she ducked her head down. "I don't know." 

"Well, you'll love it here!" Chika put her hands on her hips and smirked, her eyes alight. "Right, guys? We're gonna be the best band around, and then we'll make sure everyone knows our name!" 

"Yeah, Chika." Kanan let herself lean back, sinking against a whale-shaped beanbag. The little beans in it rustled under her weight, and she could see some of them poking out. "We will." 

***

Mari was not very familiar with anyone in the band aside from Kanan - Chika and You had always existed in the background to her, there and yet not there, Riko was a stranger to all of them, and Yoshiko was an oddity all on her own. 

Still, she was trying her best to keep up with the little group, for Kanan's sake. The life of stardom still felt alluring to her, and the fantasies of finally casting away the sort of walls she'd built up and kissing Kanan on a massive stage wouldn't leave her alone. 

The sun started to go down, and so the room was bathed in a pink-orange glow.

"You girls have been at it for a while now," Mr. Watanabe pointed out later in the evening, holding out a platter of crackers out through the door - a peace offering, probably. He was a burly, jolly-seeming man, with a fluffy mustache and a big laugh, and he wouldn't have been out of place in a cartoon. Mari liked him. "Don't you have homework?" 

"We all finished it, Dad," You retorted, deftly swiping the platter from his hands. 

"If you say so, but you know that-" 

"A higher education is one of the most important things anyone can have, and you have to get a degree to make your old dad proud, I know." You rolled her eyes good-naturedly, and Mr. Watanabe shrugged and ducked out the door. 

"We still haven't picked out a name," Kanan said, taking a cracker. "There're six of us, shouldn't we have a name?" 

"We need a brand before we get a name," Yoshiko retorted. "Song lyrics, song _titles,_ you know? Something. Right now we're just a bunch of dumbasses sitting in a boat." 

"That's not a bad idea, Yoshiko," Mari sighed. "Riko, you still haven't shown us any of your notes." 

"Oh, they're not very good, I'd still need some time to-" 

"Quit underselling yourself!" Chika all but knocked her over, pushing directly into Riko's frail form and sending the pink binder (and its contents) flying. "You showed me some of your melodies when I jumped across the balcony and-" 

"You did _what?!"_ Kanan yelped, standing up so quickly it nearly gave Mari whiplash by proximity. Riko and You skittered to the side, while Chika giggled guiltily. "You could've _died!_ What were you thinking?!" 

"You saw the way I . . . y'know, looked at her. You'd have done the same thing, wouldn't you?" 

_What?_ As a bystander, the whole thing was downright bizarre. As a part of it, Mari figured that it'd just be another day, but that thought didn't satisfy her curiosity. _Oh, shit. She has a girlfriend. Kanan has a girlfriend and she didn't tell me. It's probably that cheerleader from the city who comes to the games. She's probably-_

"Not here," Kanan finally growled, her voice low and gravelly. Normally, that'd make Mari feel like she was just about to float away, but right then she was feeling so many things that her head was just spinning anyway. Chika looked around, and she nodded. 

"Anyway, anyway . . ." Flapping her hand in dismissal, she started to help pick up the notes. "I can't read sheet music for the life of me, but these look really nice." Chika held out the paper for everyone to see, and sure enough, it was covered in swirling music notes, just about to burst from the page. "What's it called?" 

"I don't have a name for it or anything." 

"Huh." 

"I don't suppose any of you have some lyrics prepared?" Chika was grasping for something, anything, and just then, Yoshiko shot up. 

"I'd forgotten about it until now, but here it is - the as-of-now-unnamed band's first hit single!" Eagerly, she dug into the pockets of her leather jacket and produced a napkin. 

_"I Don't Wanna Die in an Old Desert?"_ Mari read out loud. 

"It came to me last night. I dunno what it means, but it sounds cool, right?" Yoshiko's voice began to deepen, an indicator of her other persona making itself known. "Speaking of the struggles we face against society each day, the fear that we may all become irrelevant, there's something there, right?" 

"I like it," Chika declared, with such finality that Mari really couldn't argue even if she wanted to. "Okay, now that we've got our first title out of the way, I guess we should call it a day? You's dad seems pretty antsy to get us out." 

"Eh, he doesn't mind." You looked up at her ceiling, decorated almost entirely with peeling decals. "I think he's secretly kinda happy to have more people around." 

"I have to agree with Chika." Riko stood up, not appearing to hear You's not-so-subtle mutterings of _of course you do._ "It's late." 

"We need a buddy system," Kanan blurted out - the first thing she'd said since her outburst at Chika. "It's too late for any of us to go alone. You lives here, so she's good, Chika and Riko are neighbors, so they'll go together, and my place isn't that far from Mari's, so that just leaves Yoshiko, right?" 

"Yep, and it's Yohane." Yoshiko made a show of rolling off of the bed and standing, cracking her back. "Always the odd one out, on the fringe of society, just barely-" 

"She's coming with us." Kanan's voice left no room for debate. The group said their goodbyes, and soon the trio was out on the road. 

***

Kanan wasn't really sure why she'd volunteered herself for Yoshiko's guidance home - some maternal instinct, maybe, or as a buffer between her and Mari. If Mari herself was bothered by the spat (if it could even be called that) with Chika, she didn't show it. Then again, she wasn't showing much at all, her bright neon jacket pulled close enough that Kanan couldn't see her face except for when she walked underneath streetlights. Kanan saw the familiar bulge of Mari's cassette player in her pocket, and she wondered if Mari was thinking about listening to it right there and then. 

"I can do this on my own, you know," Yoshiko huffed, a few steps ahead. When she wasn't slouching, she was actually fairly tall - taller than Mari, definitely, and just about approaching Kanan's height. "You don't have to baby me." 

"You said that your house is a pretty far hike from here," Kanan retorted. "There's no way we're leaving you." 

"I can take care of myself." The white threading in the angel wings on the back of Yoshiko's jacket seemed to glow under the streetlights. 

"Did you do that?" Kanan pointed to the wings. Yoshiko craned her neck to look at where she was pointing, blinking like her eyes were dry, and then she shook her head. 

"Ruby did." 

"Really?" Mari breathed. It was the first time she'd spoken on the walk, and her voice was a breath of fresh air. "Dia's little sister?" 

"Do you know any _other_ Rubys?" 

"Fair point." 

"I'm not really all that close with her - she's not as much of a traditionalist as her sister, but she's still too adamant about sticking to the status quo for me to really foster much of a relationship with her." Yoshiko breathed in the crisp late-fall air, and Kanan wondered if she could even taste it behind all of her smoke. "Besides, she acts like a little kid even though we're the same age. It's weird. Still, she's really good friends with Zuramaru, so I ended up getting to know her by . . . by proximity, I guess." The stars twinkled above, clear as they could be. 

"Zuramaru?" Mari echoed. 

"The girl I . . . the girl I . . ." Kanan couldn't see her expression - neither of them could - but she could imagine it well enough, and she could see Yoshiko's hands balled into bony fists. _"The girl I like!"_ she burst out after a moment. "The sweet maiden, the one I was talking about last week! Her name's really Hanamaru, that's just what I call her." 

"Huh." 

"Anyway, Ruby was working on her sewing skills or something like that, and she asked me if I wanted her to embroider my jacket, and I said yes because Zuramaru was there and I couldn't say no when Zuramaru was there, could I?" Yoshiko stopped and turned around, as if looking for an answer. "So she did it and it actually turned out great." 

"Huh." 

"She's a good egg, even if she's a weirdo." In a few strides, Kanan and Mari had caught up to her, but still she didn't move. "And if I'm on her good side, she might put in a good word for me." With the cigarette pack still obvious, the leather jacket tight around her shoulders, Yoshiko seemed the very epitome of a "bad girl," but in that instance she just looked like a lost little kid. "That's worth something, right?" 

"Hey, now, Yoshiko, any girl would be lucky to have you!" Mari fondly slapped her on the shoulder, stepping back when Yoshiko wobbled at the contact. "You're a real catch, don't forget that!" She snuck a glance at Kanan, but she pretended not to notice. Yoshiko started walking again, and she seemed to look just a little happier. 

***

"This is it, then?" The three of them stood at the foot of a tall apartment complex. Yoshiko nodded and stepped forward. 

"Thanks," she said, and her tone implied she wouldn't say more than that. Kanan and Mari both waved to her, ready to turn around and head back home, when a small shape caught Mari's attention, and considering the way Yoshiko froze like she'd seen a ghost, it must've caught her attention, too. 

"Yoshiko!" the figure called out, stepping under the glaring lights of the building's entrance and revealing itself to be a short girl with a threadbare bag slung across her shoulder. "Yoshiko, you're just the person I wanted to see, zura!" 

"Zuramaru?" Yoshiko breathed out, dumbfounded, turning a shade of red usually reserved for tacky Christmas decorations. "I mean, it's Yohane! A-and why're you out so late, anyway? A sweet girl like you could get abducted or killed or-" 

"I came to drop this off!" Hanamaru chirped, digging a thick, dark book out of the bag and handing it over. "I really loved it, so as soon as I finished it, I knew I just had to run it back over to you, zura! I wasn't expecting to like this sort of thing at all, but it really stole my heart!" 

"Oh, erm, thanks." Yoshiko took the book into her hands, all but trembling, and then she cleared her throat. "A tome as valuable as that is meant to be spread across those at the edge of the world, after all." 

"I feel the same way, zura!" Hanamaru balled her hands into little fists, jumping up and down. Even doing that, she hardly reached Yoshiko's chin. "Books need to be shared, otherwise what's the point?"

"Right." Yoshiko tapped her foot, _pat-pat-pat-patting_ on the cracking pavement. "Are you going to be okay, walking home on your own?" 

"Actually, I was thinking about staying over here until tomorrow morning. Your mom taught me in kindergarten, she'll remember me, right?" Hanamaru blinked sweetly, and Mari knew that Yoshiko was just about to do whatever she asked. Silently, she slipped away and gave the pair one last wave, dragging Kanan along with her. 

"They're sweet, aren't they?" Mari whispered once they were out of earshot. Kanan nodded. "It's really such picture-perfect young love. I get butterflies just thinking about them!" 

"What's wrong, Mari?" Kanan's hand was still enclosed within her own, and Kanan took advantage of that - she spun Mari around until they were face-to-face. "You've been acting weird all night." 

"Are you dating someone?" Mari blurted out, clamping her teeth down on her lip as soon as she said it. Kanan stepped back. 

"What?" 

"The way you were talking with Chika. She said something about that." 

"I'm not. Mari, believe me, I'm not." She could have just as easily been lying, but the coil around Mari's heart and lungs loosened itself nonetheless. "You just jump right to conclusions sometimes, don't you?" There was nothing bitter in her voice, and as she kept walking Mari saw a smile beginning to grace her lips. "It's like you need to have a reason for everything." 

"I don't really follow." 

"Okay, did you ever see magicians when you were little?" 

"Of course I did. Who didn't?" 

"I was at some kind of dinner party - a wedding or something like that, hell if I know - a couple of months ago, and they had a magician there, and he was pretty good, good enough that I could believe in him for a little while." 

"Right, right." Kanan didn't belong in this tiny town, Mari thought as she followed along. She belonged somewhere bigger - somewhere better. 

"Except then my parents took me back to the hotel room after it was over, and all the way they were just talking and trying to figure out how he did it. It wasn't like when I was a little kid and they let me just bathe in that magic." Kanan looked to the sky. "They had to find an explanation." She turned and looked to Mari, and she was breathtaking, even with the weird sort of loneliness held in her face. "That's really sad, isn't it?" 

"I guess so." 

"This is your place. I'll call you when I get home, alright?" 

"Alright." 

Mari watched her leave, and for some reason, she felt like she was just about to cry.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> does stuff ever happen to you and your immediate first thought is "there's an angsty monologue in that" and then you make it happen because that's what happened here


	5. Pana's Restaurant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dia makes her long-awaited return, Mari and Shiitake meet, and some dates happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this chapter is an entire week late. whoops. from here on out this fic's probably going to be updated on more of a "when i feel like it" basis due to business and writer's block, sorry about that.

It rained the next day. 

The weathermen had forecasted it, had pointed to the grimy storm clouds on the television, but it wasn't like Kanan had much time to watch TV, so she just sat in the gray classroom while the teacher droned on and on and on about something she didn't care much for. The rain pounded against the window, obscuring the outdoors. It was stifling. It was infuriating. 

Mari was on her mind, as she so often was, and the conversation on the way back from Yoshiko's apartment wasn't helping much. 

_Why did I say that?_ she thought. _Magicians . . . what kind of weirdo comes up with that stuff? Definitely not the one who gets the girl in the end._

"Kanan?" Dia nudged her with a pen. "You've been staring out that window all day, what's gotten into you?" 

"Band practice," Kanan muttered. It was enough of an answer. 

"Ball practice?" one of her classmates whispered back, some girl she'd never quite gotten to know very well. "Oh, right! Your last game's on Friday, isn't it? Man, that's gotta be a lot of pressure." Kanan gritted her teeth.

"It's fine." 

"We're cheering you on, Matsuura." The girl pumped her fist, just out of reach of the teacher. 

"Thank you." With one hand covering her paper, Kanan scrawled down a quick note and passed it off to Dia. 

_Meet me after school today. We need to talk._

***

Mari stared at the slip of paper in her hand and headed hesitantly up the steps to the house, checking for the fifth time that afternoon to make sure it was the right one. 

"Hello?" she called, ringing the doorbell. Loud barking sounded throughout the house, as did Riko's frightened shrieks. Chika opened the door with one hand firmly grasping a massive, furry dog by the collar. 

"Oh, hey! Mari! Welcome to my humble abode!" The dog barked in agreement, and Mari caught a glimpse of a terrified Riko clinging to a lamp. "I almost forgot to introduce one of the most important parts of our band - Mari, meet Shiitake." Mari looked down. 

_"Womf."_

"I know she looks kinda scary, but she's actually really sweet." Mari put a hand on Shiitake's head, tentatively petting her. "See! She loves you already!" 

"Hmm, I guess she does." Mari smiled, despite herself, as Shiitake's tongue lolled out of her mouth. 

"D-don't be lured in by its charms!" Riko screeched from the lamp. "It's evil! Look at those eyes!" There was no way for Mari to look at Shiitake's eyes - they were covered by flops of fur. 

"Is anyone else here?" she asked, looking around as if expecting to see Yoshiko spring from underneath the staircase. She was, to some degree. It wouldn't surprise her, in any case. Chika shook her head, then stepped closer.

"I'm just trying to get in some time with Riko before we go out tomorrow night," she whispered. Mari tried (and failed) to hide her reaction. 

"You're going on a _date?"_ she giggled, bouncing back and forth on her heels. Chika's face started to turn as red as her hair, and she scratched Shiitake behind the ears a bit intensely in lieu of an answer. 

"Keep your voice down!" she hissed, looking back at Riko, who still remained glued to the lamp. Mari wondered if she'd be there all afternoon. "I still don't know if she's . . . y'know . . ." 

"Like you?" Mari supplied, her voice gentle. Chika nodded. 

"What if she hates me? What if she thinks it's just a friend thing and then it gets awkward and _then_ she hates me? What if she's allergic to shrimp and the only thing they're serving is shrimp? What if-" 

_"Calm down!"_ Mari all but yelled, earning her a confused glance from Riko. Chika skittered back. "Okay, one, she doesn't hate you." 

"How can you tell?" Chika scuffed her bare feet on the wooden floor. It looked like some kind of oak - _probably cost a fortune,_ Mari thought. "You don't even know me." 

"I know that this one-" Mari jabbed her thumb in Riko's direction "-is scared to death of your massive fluffball, but she's still here. That's something."

"I guess." 

"Two, it's going to be awkward if you think it's going to be awkward." Mari twirled a finger around her braid and looked to the ceiling fan. "You just have to be calm. You _like_ this girl, don't you?" Without warning, she swung an arm around Chika's shoulders and beamed. "Act like it!" 

"Okay, but-" 

"Three, the shrimp thing is too specific for me to give you any advice on it. That's just weird." 

"Fair." 

"Oi, Chika!" Someone banged on the door. "Did your sisters change the locks again or something?!" 

"Crap, You!" Chika dashed for the entrance, swinging the door open to reveal not one but two girls standing in front of her - You and the girl from Yoshiko's building. "Yeah, they were worried about security so they had 'em fixed up, I'll get that sorted out as soon as I can, alright?" 

"Hello," Riko croaked from the lamp. You didn't give her a second glance, making a beeline right for Shiitake. 

"How've you been, girl?" The dog started tiptoeing on her big, padded feet, all but vibrating. You dug into her bag and pulled out a ratty tennis ball. "You wanna get the ball? You wanna get the ball, Shiitake?" Shiitake panted eagerly. "Alright, then go get it!" You flung the ball across the room, and Shiitake bounded right after it, even as it came uncomfortably close to Riko. You's eyes widened in realization, and she started for the dog at the same time as Chika. They both tackled her like football players right as she crashed into Riko herself, and Mari could only watch. 

"Are you three okay?" she asked. Riko stumbled back as Shiitake picked up the ball in her mouth and started to trot towards her. Chika had found herself on top of You, the both of them flung off the dog like a pair of fleas. Even from her distance, Mari could see You's flustered face, and she could also see Shiitake drop the slobbery mess that once was the ball right in front of Riko. 

She passed out. 

***

"What if I killed her?" 

"You didn't kill her, alright? She's fine." 

"I'm sorry for intruding at such a bad time, zura." 

"Hey, no, you're fine! You're totally fine, Zuramaru. You're completely, totally fine." 

"Ah, Zuramaru, was it? A pleasure to meet you. I'm Mari Ohara." 

"It's Hanamaru, actually. That's just what Yoshiko here calls me. Kindergarten nicknames don't fade much, haha!" 

"Well, then, Hanamaru, welcome." 

"Hey, I think she's coming to." 

Riko groggily opened her eyes, pushing herself up off of the bed with wobbly arms. 

"What happened?" she groaned. 

"You fell and hit your head," Chika explained, calmly, like she was a doctor instead of a teenage girl who, to her credit, was acting very calm for someone whose crush was currently in their bed. Kanan could only stand off to the side. "You've been out for like half an hour." 

"Oh." Riko rubbed her head, closing her eyes and starting to slip back onto the bed. "Sorry." 

"No, no, don't worry!" Chika yelped, frantically waving her hands as if clearing the air. "I should've put Shiitake away." 

"Where is that . . . thing, anyway?" Riko's eyes darted suspiciously from side to side. 

"I took her outside," Kanan explained. "She's just sniffing around her doghouse, now." 

"You were late, Kanan," Mari said. There was something a little bit sad in her voice, something that Kanan had grown to know well. 

"I had to meet up with Dia." It wasn't a lie, in any case. "I'll tell you everything . . ." She trailed off as her gaze rested on Chika, who was desperately wrecking her room for every pillow she could find. "Tomorrow! At Pana's, tomorrow night. We'll catch up. We haven't done that in a while." 

"Oh, how _forward,_ dear Kanan!" Mari sidled closer, waggling her eyebrows. "You've never asked anyone out to Pana's before." 

"I've, uh, never had a reason to. We just need to . . . to talk. Okay?" God, she was acting like a _disaster._ If it had been possible to fold in on yourself into a tiny little ball nobody could see, Kanan would be doing it right now. "About . . . stuff." 

"Specific." 

"I'll tell you about it tomorrow." Kanan paused, looking to Hanamaru, who seemed as out-of-place as anything with her quiet demeanor, but then again all of them seemed out-of-place here. Before she could keep on with that particular train of thought, Chika clasped her hands together eagerly. 

"That's enough chatting, 'kay? We need to properly greet our newest member!" With a bow and a flourish, she pointed to Hanamaru and started to clap. "Maru's agreed to join!" 

"Seriously?" Yoshiko's jaw dropped, and Kanan could see her sweating. "I mean, perfect! Great! We're h-happy to have you here, Zuramaru." 

"I'm happy to be here, zura." 

"Glad to hear it." 

***

Mari dragged herself through school the next day with her tapes blasting and her mind about to burst. The clock seemed to move at a snail's pace, the teachers speaking in slow motion. Nerves and excitement fought for dominance, causing her to draw wobbly, squiggly hearts in the margins of her notes. 

"Ah, Matsuura," she murmured, both at her desk and then at the steps to Pana's later that evening. "What've you done to me?" 

"Oh! You go to the high school, right?" a high-pitched voice asked. Mari turned around to come face-to-face with a woman somewhere in her twenties with a pair of glasses just barely hiding her kindly gaze. "I think I've seen you around." 

"Hah, small world, right?" Mari's hand went to her pocket, reaching for something - anything - to fiddle with. 

"I try to make it a habit to remember everyone I can," the woman explained. "I mean, why else open a little restaurant out here, right?" 

"What?!" Mari stumbled back. "You're . . . the owner?" 

"Yep!" The woman - apparently the titular Pana - stuck out a hand in greeting. "Hanayo Koizumi, here." 

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Koizumi." Awkward as it was, Mari returned Hanayo's handshake. "You run a lovely establishment." 

"So, are you meeting someone here?" Hanayo had something of a devilish twinkle in her eye. 

"Why do you ask?" 

"Well, see, I didn't make this place to be a . . . a date hotspot, if you would." At a second glance, Hanayo didn't even look to be much older than Mari herself, and she was mumbling like a nervous schoolgirl. "Still, that's what it is now, and business is good, so there's that." 

"Huh." 

"Usually the only time kids like you show up is to go on dates." Hanayo's eyes twinkled again. "Do you have anyone who strikes your fancy?" Mari wasn't sure why - some instinct, she supposed - but she trusted this woman, and she was just about to open her mouth when Kanan came running down the sidewalk, her jean jacket billowing out behind her. It was far too cold for something that light, but she was sweating regardless. 

"Hey, Mari! Sorry I'm late, practice ran overtime. Coach wanted us to get hyped for the game or something like that." 

"It's all good!" Mari took a deep breath and tried to shake Hanayo's knowing looks from her head - Hanayo herself was nowhere to be seen. "It's all good, don't worry!" 

"Great." Kanan took her by the sleeve of her parka and dragged her inside, where married couples and teenagers alike sat hunched over their food. "Okay, here's the deal." Her voice lowered a few octaves, that husky tone that turned Mari into a puddle. A big, gay, idiot puddle. "We're here to spy on Chika and Riko." 

"We're . . . we're _what?!"_

"I don't want either of them to get hurt." Kanan craned her neck to look across the tables, and she stiffened when something caught her eye. Mari followed suit, and soon the pair became obvious. Chika was talking animatedly about something, while Riko politely poked at her food with a fork. 

"You'd make a great mom." The words were loaded as soon as they left Mari's mouth, and she regretted saying them immediately. Something akin to a weight seemed to press down on her, waiting and waiting for Kanan's inevitable response. 

"Thanks." It was all she said before she took the menu into her calloused hands and intently read over each option. "I lied." 

"About what?" 

"Chika and Riko aren't the only reason I wanted to see you." 

"Is that so?" 

"Mari, I said some weird things the other night." 

"You . . . you think I'm weirded out by _that?"_

"I mean . . . yeah." Kanan plucked at the loose threads of her jacket. "Why wouldn't you be?" 

"Kanan, you've been around for . . . what, my whole life? Why would I think you were weird?" 

"Because you should." Kanan's jaw twitched in that way it always did right before she was about to say something hard. "Mari, why do you hang out with me?" 

"Because we're friends, you nark!" Mari playfully slapped Kanan's arm, anything to diffuse the tension. Kanan flinched. "Why else?" 

"You have a reputation. Why would you-" 

"Kanan!" Mari cut her off with a hand held out like a traffic cop. "As much as I'd love to live in a movie, we don't live in one! This is just life! If some inane cliques decide to spread gossip about me, so be it." She leaned closer, heart pounding a mile a minute at what she was about to do. "If this _was_ a movie, I'd just-" 

"Would you two like any drinks?" a waitress chirped, with a gravel in her voice that reminded Mari of a cat. Her throat went dry. 

"Ah, yes! A . . . a water would be lovely. Yes, yes, a water. Two waters, actually! As many waters as you have." 

"Okie-dokie!" The waitress trotted away without another word. 

"She didn't even ask me for my order," Kanan whispered, keeping a hand over her mouth. Mari shrugged nonchalantly. 

"Well, Pana's isn't known for the stellar service, is it?" Red curtains were draped over the windows, and glowing chandeliers hung above to illuminate the soft carpet. "It's the atmosphere that they chase." Mari had always been the more forward of the two, but this was pushing the limit even for her - she was coming up with it all on the fly, pushed to the end of a cliff where she was just about to fall off. 

"Remind you of Europe?" Kanan twirled a fork around in her fingers curiously. 

"In a way." Mari paused, taking a deep breath in preparation for what she was about to say next, feeling more than a little light-headed. "It's certainly romantic enough." Kanan nearly spat out her drink. 

"W-well, that's definitely why Chika picked it." 

"Yes, of course." This was a disaster. Pana's was a disaster. The waitress still hadn't come back with the waters yet. "Chika, yes, that's why she picked it." Chika herself was currently making some kind of animated gesture in Riko's direction, but Mari had long since given up on keeping her eye on her. "Why did you invite me here, Kanan?" 

"We're sorta talking in circles right now, Mari. We're making sure those two stay out of trouble and I wanted to talk. That's it." Mari's gaze softened. 

"You really do care about those dopes, don't you?" 

"Of course I do." Kanan didn't hide anything in her voice, and there was a sharp edge to it that Mari hadn't heard in a long time. "Chika, especially. She's been around ever since I was little, I'd die if something happened to her." 

"Is that why you joined the band?" 

"Maybe." The fork clinked against the table as Kanan grinned. "I guess you'll just have to find out, huh?" 

"Ah, Kanan, you're such a tease." The booth creaked a bit, Mari leaned forward, and she was just about to make quite possibly the worst decision of her young life when Chika let out a yell from across the room. She couldn't tell for the life of her what she was saying, but she wasn't about to stick around and find out. "C'mon," she whispered, tugging her arm. Kanan didn't budge. "Let them figure it out for themselves, okay?" Begrudgingly, Kanan stood up and the two of them left arm-in-arm into the vast, cloudy night.

***

It wasn't until hours later when Kanan flopped down on her bed and let out a long groan. 

_What did I do?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2x10 made me cry but then again every episode of lls makes me cry so there's that


	6. Dia & A Whole Lot of Nothing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kanan and Mari have a sleepover, band practice continues, and Dia doesn't make the best decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so i know it's been nearly a month since the last update and for that i apologize. writer's block hit hard and i can't promise that subsequent updates will be much better, but i can promise that i /will/ finish this fic. eventually.

Band practice became a regular thing in the coming weeks. Kanan's final football game of the season came and went without much fanfare - not enough fanfare, in Mari's opinion. For how well-known Kanan was in their little town, Mari would've thought there'd be more cheers when Numazu came out victorious. 

Even so, the two of them danced their little dance as they'd been doing for years, falling more and more into a practiced routine as the still-unnamed band wrote songs and tried to play them, and it seemed like everything was more or less back to normal until one windy afternoon. 

"How's that?" You rested her guitar on her lap, looking around the room for approval. They'd chosen Mari's house for practice that day, much to Kanan's chagrin, and nobody had been able to get much done for how much delightful 'stuff' there was. It had taken a good two hours to get any of them to do anything. Slowly, Yoshiko started clapping. 

"I'd say that isn't half-bad," she said. "What if I entered in at that twangy part with some drums, like this?" She demonstrated on the side of a chair, drumsticks whacking it in quick succession. Mari flinched. Chika nodded eagerly. 

"Oh, and then Riko could really start laying on the piano!" she chirped. "Mari, it's okay if we use that big grand piano in the dining room, right?" 

"Ah, yes, it's completely fine." The piano was gathering a fine layer of dust, anyway - nobody had touched it for years. Chika got up and ran for it, followed closely by Riko and then the rest of the band. As if she were a magician about to present her next act, she wrapped her fingers around the cloth obscuring the piano and then lifted it dramatically, flinging it off to the side and releasing a cloud of dust. She coughed, squeezing her eyes shut, and by the time she'd opened them again, the piano sat there like a relic from another time, with a children's guide still neatly placed on top of it. 

"This looks old," Riko murmured, running her fingers along the smooth surface, then wringing out her hand when they collected dust under them. 

"It is." 

"Is it really okay if I play it?" 

"Go ahead," Mari said, and so Riko did. 

***

"It's your house, Mari. You don't have any reason to walk me home." 

"You didn't bring your pickup." Mari folded her arms, lifting her head up high like a haughty ruler. "I'd hate to see you walk alone this late at night." 

"Hah, you think I wouldn't kick the ass of anyone who got in my way?" Kanan flashed a grin and started to pull up her sleeves, then thought better of it and slid them back down. The holiday season was in full swing, and with it came the freezing cold. She'd have hated to get a cold right when exams started. "What about you? How're you going to get back?" 

"Well, now that you bring it up . . ." Mari twirled a coil of her hair around her finger, stepping just a bit closer. Kanan's face felt hot. "Why don't I stay the night? Your granddad knows me, doesn't he? I won't even stay in your room if that's a problem, you've got a lovely couch. A nice, cozy couch." 

"You know, Mari . . ." 

"Hrm?" 

"Everyone thinks you're this uppity rich girl with all these fancy things, but you're really not, are you? You're pretty down-to-earth." 

"Why, Kanan, I'm offended!" Mari clapped a hand to her chest, making an audible _smack!_ that echoed through the empty street. "Of course I'm as materialistic as they say I am! I'm just so self-absorbed, I can't even see straight!" 

"Hmm, nope." Kanan crossed her arms, smirking, and kept her pace measured so as not to leave Mari behind. "You're as nice as they come." 

"Ah, you're torturing me." 

"I could say the same of you." 

"Flirt." 

"Dork." 

They kept walking like that, stepping over sidewalk cracks and sharing idle chatter while the streetlights flickered out above them. Kanan didn't mind the dark, though. She knew just where they were going. 

***

"I've got some pajamas in there." Kanan pointed at her closet, but Mari was already digging into it with a practiced ease. She knew the bedroom above the shop like the back of her hand, and plucked out a baggy shirt not a second later. 

"You don't clean up much," Mari noted, catching sight of a stuffed dolphin that had been wedged in the closet for about three years now. She remembered giving Kanan that dolphin when they were little - she'd tried to wrap it up so that it'd be a surprise, but the paper just wrinkled around it and wouldn't form anything other than an ugly lump. Eventually, she'd just settled for tying a big red ribbon around it and carrying the thing in her tiny arms all the way to Kanan's house. 

". . . and the dive shop's really taken off in popularity lately, so-" 

"You loved this guy," Mari murmured, running her hand along the dolphin's velvety surface worn through by years of play. "Why'd you jam him in here like this?" 

"He's safe, that way." Kanan started making her bed - Mari was still stuck in her ironically closeted position, but she heard the flapping noise all the same. "I know where he is." 

"I guess." Mari still didn't like it, not one bit, and she placed the dolphin on Kanan's bed. _"Hey, Kanan,"_ she said, lowering her voice and waving the dolphin up and down. _"I miss you, Kanan. Snuggle with me more! I wanna be snuggled!"_

"Okay, okay!" Kanan threw her arms up in the air, starting to laugh. "Geez, I'll do it." 

"Success!" Mari cried, triumphant. "I'll sleep on the carpet." When they were kids - little kids, really too young to understand anything at all - Kanan had let Mari sleep in her bed. She'd reveled in those moments, with Kanan's whole body wrapped up around her like a cocoon, so warm that sometimes Mari could feel herself sinking into the bed. Dia would sleep in there, too, of course, but she had never been one for much physical contact and so she'd sleep on the other end of the bed, still as a rock, and Mari could imagine that it was just the two of them, alone on a mattress-like comet drifting through space. 

Time had passed, though, and with it came the sort of concern from Kanan's grandfather that was usually reserved for late-night drives and red plastic cups stuffed under bookshelves, and all through middle school Mari and Dia would wriggle into their sleeping bags while Kanan tossed and turned on her bed, alone. 

"Seriously?" Kanan finally said, setting the dolphin aside. Mari didn't keep her eyes off of it. She couldn't. If she did, she'd see Kanan's face, and the ease that the two of them had reached would fall apart. That was what she thought to herself, anyway. "You didn't bring a sleeping bag or anything." 

"That's fine." Mari waved her hand like a flippant princess, hoping that her cheeks weren't turning red. "I'm a hardy woman, Kanan. I can handle a scratchy carpet for a little while." 

"Hardly," Kanan dryly retorted. "Your bed's made of goose feathers or something. Dia got stuck in it for _twenty minutes_ when we were seven, remember that?" 

"So?" Mari shrugged. Kanan scoffed and rolled her eyes, picking at something on her arm. "It's fine." 

"Grandpa never comes up here anymore. 'You can take care of yourself, little dolphin,' that sort of thing." Kanan eased onto her bed, and the springs creaked beneath her. "It's 1989, Mari. He's not gonna chase you out with a broom." 

"Hmm." Mari stalled, a million thoughts rampaging through her brain at once, all of them fighting for dominance. _She's being even more forward than you,_ one said. _It means she doesn't see anything between you and her,_ another argued. _What's the harm?_ the loudest one clamored in, and that thought defeated all the rest. "Okay. But he still has to stay in, alright?" Mari pointed to the stuffed dolphin. 

"Of course," Kanan laughed. "I'm going to get changed, you just get comfortable." Mari was just about to head for the bathroom when Kanan very abruptly took off her shirt. 

"Uh . . ." she managed out, feeling her head starting to thump and her heart starting to grow dizzy, or maybe it was supposed to be the other way around, but she couldn't tell because _oh,_ Kanan's abs looked strong. "I don't want to- ah . . . I'll go now. Okay? Okay." Mari stumbled from the room with a hand pressed to her forehead. "Bye, Kanan." 

***

Mari came back into the room a few minutes later, but Kanan couldn't see her face - not with the lights turned off. She had to conserve energy, after all. 

"I'll just stick to the window side, okay?" she said, rolling over in the bed to prove her point. The crescent moon floated above the water like some picturesque movie scene - but then again, if they'd been in a movie, the moon would have some significance. As they were, it was just pretty. Mari shuffled over and lifted the covers, settling down on the pillow and wordlessly handing Kanan the dolphin. 

"He'll keep you company," she murmured sleepily. "Perhaps he'll protect you from terrifying dreams, hmm?" Kanan snorted. "Mr. Dolphin, Nightmare Fighter. That'd be . . . hmmzz . . . nice . . ." Mari was asleep just a few seconds later, cradling the blanket like it was a person. Kanan just looked up at the ceiling. If she focused hard enough, she could see the tiniest molecules making it up, fizzing around like when she looked too close at the TV. It was a distraction, at least. 

"What're you doing?" Kanan muttered to herself. She didn't know. Mari's chest rose and fell with her adorable snores. The thought didn't go away. "What the _hell_ are you doing?" 

***

Mari woke up with Kanan's arms wrapped drowsily around her, making little mumbling noises in her sleep and most certainly unconscious. She felt her heart start to race, thumping in a thousand different ways until she took a few breaths. 

_This is normal. Kanan always did this when we were little, too._ She knew, though - when they were little, she didn't feel like this, like all of her had turned electric. _It's fine._ Mari didn't move, didn't want to, and she snuggled back into Kanan's embrace and hoped that she wouldn't forget this when morning came. 

***

Kanan woke up with Mari pressed up against her, and she would've been content to stay like that forever if not for the sun glaring through the window and the faint glow of her digital alarm clock blinking _8:45._

"Mari," she murmured, nudging her softly. Mari stirred with a mumble, slowly blinking her eyes open. 

"Kanan?" Voice slurred with sleep, she reached out and yawned. "G'morning, Kanan." 

"Good morning," Kanan echoed. "You'd better . . ." 

"Mm-hmm." Mari got up, wordless, running a hand through her hair and patting herself down like something might've been missing. "Thank you for letting me stay with you." 

"You didn't really give me a choice," Kanan laughed. Mari turned her face away, and Kanan's laugh trailed off. "Sorry." 

"Not a problem." Mari stood and started to gather her things, and for a few pained minutes the only sounds were the rustling of clothes and the seagulls wailing outside. "I'm meeting Dia for lunch today. I'll see you Monday?" 

"Yep." That was how things had always been between them. Easy, simple, making plans and just letting them be. No magicians or awkwardness or _dinner dates_ for God's sake, but this band was changing everything. Kanan vowed to call Chika later that day - they were nearly done with the first song after nearly a month, and she figured that was something to celebrate if nothing else was. 

She watched Mari's retreating figure walk through the door, heard her footsteps creak down the stairs, and if she strained her ear just enough, she could hear the door open and take Mari with it. 

***

"Merry Christmas!" Mari chirped, presenting the wrapped gift in front of Dia with a flourish. Dia blinked. 

"Christmas isn't for another two weeks," she said. Mari shrugged. 

"You'll be busy with your exams then, won't you? All of us will be. Besides, someone in the band was bound to stumble upon it if I just kept it hidden like this." 

"Right, I forgot that you're a part of that now." 

"You should tell your sister about it. Her friends - the bookish one and the one you hate - both joined, and they're actually pretty good!" Mari leaned in, pressing her hands down on the plastic table for balance. "But I suppose you don't want your darling little Ruby to be _corrupted_ by us, hmm?" Dia stared down at her.

"It's nothing like that." 

"What is it, then?" Mari drew back. 

"There's . . . enough for her to deal with, without a band or whatever it is getting in the gay. Way. Getting in the way." 

"Ooh, Dia, is this a confession?" Mari waggled her eyebrows, sliding off her jacket and slinking back in the chair. Dia let out a low moan. 

"No." 

"What is it, then?" 

"There's a . . . there's a . . ." It was Dia's turn to lean in close, pushing Mari's hair aside to whisper in her ear. "There's a girl who comes around to our house, and she's been showing up more and more often." 

"And that worries you because . . . ?" 

"Ruby's growing up, as much as I hate to admit it." Dia cast her gaze down to the table, knotting her fingers together and then breaking them apart. "I'm powerless to stop her if she does want to . . . you know." 

"Well, Dia, you ought to be supporting her if that's the case!" Mari smacked her on the shoulder in a way she hoped seemed encouraging. Considering Dia's pained expression, it probably wasn't. "Ruby's a strange girl. She's going to need someone she trusts to help her through these things, and since her two weird pseudo-friends are busy destroying my house and you don't really let her see anyone else, having a shoulder to lean on would be a good thing." 

"Your point?" 

"You two finally have something in common, that's all." Mari smirked. "Don't think I haven't caught you eyeing the waitress every time we go here." Dia stiffened, curling her hands into fists and slamming them on the table before standing up. Silverware clattered in place.

"D-don't say that sort of thing in public!" she snapped. "You know that's just admiration!" 

"Mm-hmm, and the Earth's flat." 

"B-b-besides, Ruby and I have plenty in common! Plenty! I don't need to know anything about her . . . you know . . ." 

"Her feelings?" Mari finished for her. "Ah, but she's growing up, sneaking around with girls her age and all that. Soon enough, you'll need to actually have conversations." 

"Why did you even want to meet me here?" Dia gnashed her teeth, like she always did when she was in a bad mood, and Mari scooted back a bit.

"Actually, I wanted to ask you to join the band." 

"What?" 

"We could use someone like you, someone organized. Mature." Mari stuck out her hand, ready for a handshake. "We're all kind of a mess, right now. Besides, having the student council president in our little gang of misfits? Imagine the publicity!" 

"What makes you think I have any time for this?" Dia gnashed her teeth again. "I'm loaded to the brim with exams, and council duties, and _Ruby-"_

"Who is fifteen years old and more than equipped to take care of herself," Mari interjected. Dia shot her a death glare. 

"I can't do it." Dia's gaze shifted to Mari's hand, staring at it as if willing it to drop. "I _can't,_ alright?" There were needles in her voice. "You can't just expect everyone to drop everything and go along with your little _adventures,_ Mari, not when we're all busy busting our asses and you're sitting back and living like some imaginary prom queen!" 

"I'm not-" 

"Did you seriously believe everything would be just the same as it was?" Dia stopped, then, freezing all over and just looking Mari dead in the eye. "You left. Not for very long, but long enough for _some_ of us to grow up. Meanwhile, you're acting like some . . . some . . . some _immature freshman_ and completely ignoring _all_ the signs, which is driving both me and Kanan mad, and-" 

"Kanan?" The diner's clean white tiling seemed to fall away into a mushy blur. "What about Kanan?" 

"D-did I say something about Kanan?" Dia squeaked, and for once Mari could see the family resemblance. "I d-didn't say anything about Kanan! Nothing at all!" 

"You just did." 

"It's nothing, Mari." Dia looked away, intent on a wall clock. "You should figure it out on your own time." 

"On my own . . . time?" Mari looked from Dia to the clock back to Dia again. "Was that a _pun?"_

"What?" Dia huffed. "No!" 

"It _was!_ Ha- _ha,_ the great Dia Kurosawa made a _pun!_ This is a magnificent occasion, everybody! This one's on me." With a flourish, Mari slapped down a stack of bills, even though neither of them had ordered. 

"You pay for it every time," Dia pointed out, but Mari was already reclining with her smug, smug grin. 

***

"Dia's sister? Really?" Kanan held up the phone with one hand as she lifted a weight with the other. Chika sat like an excited puppy on the bed, in constant movement even when she was just meant to be resting. "I'm the only one you've told, though, right?" 

_"Why, of course! Do you take me for a gossip, sweet Kanan?"_

"You could be. There're rumors surrounding you everywhere you go." 

_"Well, those ones form on their own, I'm afraid. I've got nothing to do with them."_ Kanan didn't miss much when it came to Mari's varying tones of laughing things off - this one in particular came with a lilt at the end of her sentence and an overtly fancy way of saying things, like some posh queen-to-be laughing over tea and cakes. _"If someone starts talking about me, or you for that matter, what is there to do but leave it be?"_

"You don't really mean that." 

_"Well, no. Not really. You're awfully well-liked, nobody says things about you behind your back that they wouldn't say to your face."_

"Right." Kanan looked back at Chika and You, staring at her with identical confusion on their faces. "Anyway, tell her I'll always be there to talk if she needs me, alright? Can't hurt to have a friendly face in these times, especially when you're her age." 

_"Mrm-hrm."_ Mari hung up, and Kanan set the phone down. 

"Look out for Ruby, would you?" she said. "Maybe invite her to join the band." 

"That kid who looks twelve?" 

"Yep." 

"Why?" 

"I think she'd like it here." Kanan folded her arms and let herself lie back down on the bed, for just a moment imagining the way Mari had felt curled up against her the night before. 

"Kanan?" Chika waved a hand in front of her face, and the moment was gone. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah." Kanan closed her eyes and tried - _tried_ \- not to think. "I think I am."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> disaster lesbians, the both of them


	7. The Final Piece

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Ruby joins the gang, we meet Leah, and Mari finds herself in at least two closets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's been nearly a month and for that i apologize, but i'm back now with a new chapter and hopefully in the coming weeks i'll have more content up!

"I-is this the right address?" 

Ruby, bless her poor soul, was positively _trembling_ when Mari opened the door. 

"You've absolutely come to the right place!" Without hesitation - she couldn't show it, _wouldn't_ \- she pulled the tiny girl inside. "I know it's a bit strange, being on a boat like this, but I must promise you that You's dad is the biggest sweetheart you'll ever meet." 

"R-right." Ruby looked like she was shrinking into herself. "Is it okay if I invited someone else to come over? Dia doesn't like her v-very much, so, uh, I wanted her to come here. You said you're open to anyone, right?" 

"I think I'm going to have a very stern talk with _Dia_ later," Mari growled, dropping her voice so low that it tickled her throat. Ruby blinked up at her - _God,_ she was tiny, she looked like a little baby displaced by time - and shrugged. 

"Who else is here?" 

"Your friend from the library." As if on cue, You's bedroom door flung open and revealed an excited Hanamaru, bouncing up and down like she'd fall over if she didn't keep jumping and jumping and jumping. Yoshiko furrowed her brow in confusion when Ruby walked in. "Kanan, too." 

"Is that Ruby?" Kanan set down the binder of lyrics that - judging by the brightly colored scribbles on the cover - most likely belonged to Riko. She stood up, giving Ruby a friendly wave. Mari sat down next to her. "Nice to see you again, kiddo." 

"N-nice to see you, too," Ruby stuttered, sitting down carefully, like she'd break the chairs if she wasn't cautious. "Leah should be here any minute, now." 

"Leah?" 

"She goes to a different school." 

"Hrm." Mari snuck a glance at Kanan, who shrugged. "I suppose we'll meet her soon enough, won't we? Anyway, this is the band. Chika, lead vocals." 

"Hey!" 

"Yoshiko-" 

"Yohane!" 

"-on the drums. You, guitar." 

"Nice to meet you!" 

"Riko, piano." 

"Hello." 

"Hanamaru, composer." 

"It's great to have you here, zura!" 

"And then there's me and Kanan." 

"You're a pretty big band," Ruby breathed. "Do you have any songs?" 

"Nope!" Yoshiko said it with a bit more pride than anyone really should've, but Mari wasn't about to ruin her fun. 

_thwack-thwack-thwack!_

"What was that?" You put down her guitar. Ruby shot up. 

"I t-think it's Leah!" she squeaked out, hurrying for the door. "Keep going, everyone! Don't let me drag you down!" 

"It's only a minute!" Kanan called after her. "Don't worry!" 

"It's a boat," a gravelly voice said from the hallway, though Mari couldn't see its owner. "Your friend lives on a boat?" 

"Well, she's not really my friend, that's the thing!" Ruby explained. Mari could easily imagine her eagerly gesturing to the stranger. 

"Why're we in her house, then?" 

"Because they're okay with us!" The sound of creaking floorboards made itself heard. "I-isn't that something?"

"I guess." A few seconds later, Ruby appeared in the doorway with a girl her age with her shoulders hunched and her hands in her pockets. "I'm Leah. I'm not joining your band." 

"S-she's my girlfriend!" Ruby squeaked, her face turning pink as she said the word _girlfriend._ "Okay?" 

"Okay," everyone mumbled in unison, turning back to their work. Leah uneasily settled down on the carpet. 

"They seem nice," she whispered, but not quietly enough to escape Mari's ear. Kanan sometimes said she had the hearing of a hawk. 

"You're welcome to stay as long as you'd like, Leah," she said, smiling what she hoped was her most pleasant smile. Leah hardly looked twice at her. 

***

"Ruby's a sweet girl," Mari said, hopping into the shotgun seat of Kanan's pickup truck. Kanan turned the key and let it sputter to life. 

"Yeah." Kanan hit the steering wheel a few times before backing out into the street. "Are you taking her under your wing or something?" 

"Hmm, I suppose you could say that." Mari drummed her fingers on the dashboard, turning to face Kanan. "I love Dia dearly, but she's not the smartest girl on the planet. I don't think she understands that Ruby's not ten anymore." Kanan drove slowly, trying to prolong the drive as well as she could. Mari continued with a strange kind of sadness to her voice. "It's not easy, you know that. Being a girl who, you know." 

"I know." A thought hit Kanan like a train. "Do _you_ know?" 

"I'm not sure." Mari's voice sounded very small all of a sudden. An old song played on the radio, and for the life of her Kanan couldn't make out the lyrics. They could have been in another language, and she wouldn't have known. 

"We should hang out after school," she blurted out, if only because she needed to break the silence. It was hard to see very far ahead, even with the streetlights and the truck's blinkers. "Tomorrow, I mean. Chika's got a test on Friday, so there's no band practice." 

"Asking me on a date, are we, Kanan?" Mari's drumming on the dashboard grew more incessant. As much as she usually loved it, in that moment she cursed Mari's flirty, easygoing attitude for sending a thousand mixed signals. 

"Shut up," she chided, lightly bumping Mari with her elbow. The song on the radio faded out and was replaced by a soft pop ballad. Kanan turned a corner, and the truck lurched. 

"I'd love to, by the way." 

"Glad to hear it." 

***

 _"Do_ you _know?"_

Mari flipped around in her bed for what must've been the thousandth time that night. The way she'd set up her speakers to blast _Africa_ by Toto directly into her ears probably wasn't helping, either, but it wasn't like she was getting any sleep that night anyway. 

"Hngh, it's not like I can _say_ anything," she moaned, holding a pillow tight to her chest. "Ah, hello, Kanan! I've been in love with you since middle school and I fled to Europe to get away from my feelings for you, but I deflect it with my prom-queen personality and a weird way of flirting! I want you to pick me up in your big strong arms and carry me off into the sunset!" 

_cheep-cheep-cheep_

Some birds squawked outside of her window, and if it hadn't been dark out Mari was certain that she'd see them all lined up, singing in unison, but she wasn't really willing to sit up and squint to see them against the night's backdrop. 

"How would she respond to that? 'Oh, Mari, you're very sweet, but I could have any girl in the school and I've only ever seen you as a friend!' That'd be aces." Mari reached for the phone and started dialing Dia's number - out of habit, more than anything else - and let out a long sigh. 

_beeeeeep_

"Dia?" 

_beeeeeep_

"Dia, are you there?" 

_beeeeeeep_

"Alright, Dia, I suppose you're asleep, that's fine." 

_"Mari? It's the middle of the night. Is something wrong?"_

"Nothing's wrong, Dia." 

_"Why'd you call me in the middle of the night, then?"_

"Because I'm hopelessly in love with-" 

_"For heaven's sakes, why won't you just tell her?"_ Something on the other end of the line crashed, and Mari could easily imagine Dia throwing her arms up in exasperation and knocking over a belonging in the process. _"What's the worst that could happen?"_

"She could hate me." 

_"Mari, she's the only out lesbian in the school. Why would she hate you? Even if she didn't reciprocate, I highly doubt she would leave you simply because you expressed your feelings."_

"This isn't a math problem, Dia." Mari rubbed the phone cord between her fingers. "It's life. Just because she _should_ do something, it doesn't necessarily mean she will." 

_"Quite the philosopher, are we?"_

"Dia, I can't very well just drop everything and tell her how I felt. Everyone loves her, and everyone loves me - I mean, I'm great, how could they not?" Mari hollowly laughed. She hoped it sounded more convincing to Dia than it did to her. "But secrets get out. I don't like that."

 _"I'm incredibly tired of you acting like the world's your little stage, Mari."_ Dia's words bit through the phone. _"You'll be fine. Please just don't involve me in it."_

"Like how you won't let your sister involve you in it?" 

_"I-"_

"She's a good kid, Dia. You should get to know her before she grows up into someone you don't know." 

_"Are you inviting me into the band?"_

"You'll have to take that up with the leader." Mari looked out at the crescent moon by her window, hanging above the ocean. "Good night, Dia." 

She hung up the phone. 

***

Chika and You had always sat with Kanan during lunch, but in the recent weeks they'd come to be joined by Riko and the freshmen, as well as Mari once in a while. Dia claimed to have student council business, but Kanan suspected that she just needed time to herself. 

"How's everything going with Leah, Ruby?" she asked, taking a bite of her sandwich. Ruby blinked. 

"How's . . . what? Me and Leah? We're, uh, we're doing pretty well! I think she liked you all." 

"She didn't seem to like any of us," Yoshiko deadpanned, then smiled a little bit. "A woman after my own heart." Hanamaru elbowed her, looking more than a little discomforted. 

"Don't try to go after her girlfriend, zura," she hissed. Ruby giggled at the exchange. 

Kanan imagined herself and Mari like that, flirting and cracking jokes at each other with such ease. That was how they were anyway, half of the time, but that unseen barrier divided them from doing anything more. Mari was a young socialite, the heir to the biggest company in town. It was a wonder they'd stayed friends at all. Mari wouldn't - couldn't - be seen with her in that sense, even as the conversation in the pickup truck rang in Kanan's ears all throughout lunch. 

"Oh, that's the bell, isn't it?" Mari stood up and started gathering her things, slinging her bag over her shoulder. "Kanan, come on. The biology room's right on the way to your next class, it won't be a problem for us to walk there together." Chika all but shoved her out of her seat. 

"Go," she whispered, and then gave an exaggerated wink. If there was one thing Chika wasn't, it was subtle. Kanan uneasily stood up and followed Mari out the door, where a few students were just beginning to seep into the hallways. 

"What was that about?" Kanan looked back at the cafeteria door. "Usually you stay until the last second during lunch." 

"Oh, no reason." Casually, Mari swung her arm around Kanan's shoulder, and despite herself, she sank into the touch. "I just wanted to get a head start before everyone started pouring into the rooms." 

"That sounds like a reason to me." 

"Must you contradict everything I say, dear Kanan? We're close to the biology room, anyhow. You'll be early, I'll be early, there's no downside. In fact, why don't we always do it like this? Empty hallways are _aces."_ Kanan snorted. 

"Did you- did you just say _aces?"_ she laughed. Mari held a hand to her chest in mock offense. 

"Maybe," she mumbled. Kanan chuckled. 

"You're adorable sometimes, you know that?" The words flew out before she could catch them, and Kanan quickly clapped her hands over her mouth. Mari's cheeks turned pink. "I mean, you're-" 

"Oh, look! It's the biology room!" Mari turned stiffly to the closest door, which Kanan knew for a fact was actually a janitor's closet. She'd caught Chika and Riko making out in it three times in the past two weeks. "See you, Kanan!" With a quick hop in her step, Mari opened the door and ducked inside. Kanan took a deep breath. 

"Don't you think this is a little ironic?" she said to the door. "I'm not pressuring you to come out or anything, but you've gotta admit that there's a lot of irony here." 

"I know," Mari sniffed. "You must have experience with this place." 

"Well, yeah, I do. So does everyone else in the band." 

"It smells in here." 

"That'd be the cleaning supplies." 

"It's cramped." 

"Yeah." 

"And dusty." 

"Yeah." 

"It's giving me goosebumps just being in here." 

"Yup." Kanan folded her arms and leaned against the door. "Are we still on for this afternoon? I get it if you're not up for it." 

"No, no, it's alright. I'll be alright." Kanan could hear Mari's long, dramatic sigh echoing around the closet. "I'll be late for class at this rate." 

"It's okay." Kanan slid down to sit, the pins on her backpack scratching up against the wall. "I'll skip with you." 

"Aw, you'd do that for me? You're such a romantic devil, Kanan." The words made her heart flare up in her chest. "I'll be alright in a few minutes. Just give it time." 

Kanan did, if only because there wasn't really much else she could do in the moment. 

***

"Pana's again, huh?" 

"It's not like there's a plethora of spots where you can hold a private conversation around here." Mari rocked back and forth on her heels. Winter had come in and had started to bite her around the ankles, which was the reason she used to excuse the neon-purple legwarmers that adorned them. "It was either this or my house." 

"You could probably fit five of this place into your house." 

"Ha-ha, yes, I'm rich." Mari flipped her hair, reveling in the normalcy of the moment. "I'm quite aware." 

"I guess we should go in instead of standing here in the cold." 

"That'd be nice, yeah." The two of them walked in, side-by-side, and were promptly greeted by mellow piano music blasting at top volume. 

"Sorry!" Hanayo squeaked out, standing on a ladder a good ten feet above Kanan and Mari as she fiddled with a speaker. "I'm not an expert at this sort of thing, even though I am the owner." 

"Do you need help?" Kanan called, cupping her hands around her mouth. Hanayo shook her head. 

"I can handle this! You two go and get a table, alright? I'll find someone to handle your orders." 

"Okay?" Kanan gave her one last confused (and concerned) glance before heading in the direction of an empty booth. Mari followed her, slipping into the closest one. "So, we're here. Why?" 

"Why do you think, Kanan?" Mari closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Kanan could feel her chest squeezing up, like all her innards were being compressed and she couldn't say a word about it. 

_This isn't a date,_ she thought with dread. _She's breaking up - friend-breaking-up - whatever - with me._

"I booked the band a gig!" 

"You . . . you what?" 

"I booked a gig!" Mari repeated, grinning in that smug way of hers. "It's just a small thing on the beach, but it's something. I figured we all needed some kind of morale boost, everyone's been a bit sleepy lately." 

"We don't even have a name yet," Kanan feebly protested. 

"Oh, I think you do." She flinched at the sound of the voice, and suddenly Dia stood over her with her arms folded and her jaw set in a line. Mari settled back into her seat. "Aqours." 

"Aqours?" 

"That's right." Dia didn't move, but Kanan and Mari both thought they saw her smile just a little bit. "And you've just found your manager."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if you think i will not incorporate africa by toto into this fic whenever i can you are wrong


	8. Love Live (Sort Of)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it's here, after like a month and a half. sorry about that! life got ahead of me so i lost inspiration for this fic for a while, but now it's back and gayer than ever.

"So what, you decided to . . . to hijack our da- _meeting_ to have that whole thing with Dia?" Kanan's head was still reeling. "Why? We don't have any songs or anything." 

"I said it back there, didn't I? Everyone needs it as a confidence boost." Mari stepped forward, tucking her hands behind her back. "We're not a very good band. At all. But we're a group of friends and I'd hate to lose that." 

"So what's the gig, anyway?" 

"Ah, it's just a small thing in the local park. Nothing too extravagant." 

"Knowing you, that's hardly likely." 

"No, really! Kanan, I'm not going to thrust everyone into, like, Madison Square Garden. We have to start small. That's the only way we'll get anywhere." 

"Right, right." 

"So we're just playing in the park. That's all." 

"Right." 

"Getting together as a band and as friends." 

"Right." 

"Opening for Saint Snow." 

"Ri- _what?_ Saint Snow? That band they keep playing on the local radio? The older one goes to my games in Numazu!" 

"Mm-hmm. They're set to win Love Live, no doubt about it, which is why we're opening for them." Mari flipped her hair, keeping her eyes trained on Kanan. "Exposure, dear Kanan. It's important." 

"What's Love Live?" 

"Ah, it's this massive Battle of the Bands-type thing, a bunch of local bands compete in it. Chika told me about it the other night." 

"Chika- Chika told _you?"_

"Jealous?" 

"No, just . . ." Kanan shook her head. "It's weird, that's all. She's never mentioned it to me." 

"Hmm, well, I'd imagine she's preoccupied. Juniors, you know, they're always so stressed about everything." 

"Yeah." Kanan scuffed her feet on the pavement, scratching up her boots. "Plus everything with Riko, you know. Puppy love." 

"Look at us, talking like we're a couple of old ladies. You're only six months older than her, after all." Mari plopped down on a bench and leaned back, looking like something out of a magazine. Kanan's breath caught in her throat. 

"Yeah, I guess," she mumbled. "So, the venue. Saint Snow. You know you'll have to tell the rest of the band, right? And you'll have to tell them that Dia's joining us, now." 

"Don't forget that we have a name, too." 

"Aqours. Right." Kanan sat down on the bench beside her, looking down at her own hands. They were calloused, rough, worlds different from Mari's, which looked soft enough to belong to a baby. "Not a coincidence, is it?" 

"Nope." 

"Did you pick it, or did she?" 

"She did." Mari propped herself up with her chin in her hands, looking at the bare trees, hunched over. "I would've liked to have something more glamorous - I believe Chika told you that Riko wanted us to be called the Three Mermaids - but you know, you can't win them all. And Dia's talented." 

"Yeah, she is." Kanan chuckled softly to herself. Mari turned her attention away from the trees and looked up at Kanan. "Do you remember when we were little and we'd put on little shows for each other?" 

"Dia played the frying pan like nobody's business!" 

"And we had some pretty good duets, too." 

"Of course we did!" Mari stood up all of a sudden, pulling Kanan up with her. "It was simpler when we were kids, wasn't it?" 

"Yeah." Kanan didn't want to let go of her hand. "It was." 

"Well, we're back together in a band, now. Just like then, except it's better now because we've got all the others, too!" Mari did a little dance while she talked, and it was nothing short of adorable. "So, we should have a meeting. I'll call the youngest of us if you call Chika and You." 

"Sounds perfect." 

***

Mari kicked her legs back and forth on her bed as she dialed Yoshiko's number, peering at the piece of paper she'd kept by her bedside table. The whole band had sheets identical to it, with everyone's names and numbers on them, but Mari's had one key difference: she'd doodled little hearts around Kanan's name. 

(It was a formality, really, since she could recite Kanan's number in her sleep) 

"Pick up, pick up, pick up," she muttered under her breath.

_"Hello, you've reached the Tsushima residence, please leave a message and we'll get back to-"_

_"Who's calling?"_ Yoshiko's rough, raspy voice made its way through the line. 

"Mari." 

_"Oh."_ She paused. _"What's up?"_

"So, we've got a new member. A manager, more specifically." 

_"Why do we need a manager? We don't do crap."_

"I know, I know, but it's a good opportunity! Which actually leads into my next thing . . ."

 _"Which is?"_ Mari could imagine Yoshiko leering at the phone, ear pressed up against it while her leather jacket rustled around, probably with a cloud of gray smoke around her. 

"It's better to say it when we're all together."

_"Okay, weird and cryptic as that is, could you at least tell me who the manager is?"_

"Mm-hmm. It's-" 

_"It's not Ms. Nishikino, is it? 'God,' she's such a stick in the mud. What a hardass. Did you know that one time she even-"_

"The chemistry teacher?" 

_"Jesus on a cracker, it's her, isn't it?"_

"Why would it be Ms. Nishikino?" 

_"If it's not Ms. Nishikino, who is it?"_

"Dia." 

_"No. No way."_ The sound of bedsprings squeaking and Yoshiko standing up was easy enough to decipher. _"Not her. Ruby's fine - Ruby's friends with Zuramaru, Ruby doesn't mind me - but Dia hates my guts. She goes against_ everything _I stand for, do you hear me? What kind of rebellious band are we if the very pinnacle of a role model lives among us?"_

"You don't mind me," Mari pointed out. Yoshiko grunted. 

_"You're different,"_ she muttered. _"You put on this whole thing about, like, being the Molly Ringwald cheerleader type, but really you're not. You're just a girl."_

"So's Dia."

 _"She wouldn't get it. Wouldn't get_ us. _I know I'm not a good drummer. I know I'm not going to accomplish crap with this band, and we're not going to go anywhere. We don't even have one song."_ Yoshiko paused. Mari could see the sun setting outside her window. Somehow, the gorgeous ocean view failed to instill any wonder in her. It didn't look like it did when she was with Kanan. The dock's light hadn't been used in a while. _"But I- geez, don't make me say it!"_

"Say what?" 

_"I_ like _spending time with all of you, because you get it! You don't ridicule me for this whole stupid 'hating society' thing. You just let me be. That's nice."_

"I'll talk to Dia about it if you want me t-"

_"No, no, don't do that."_

"Okay." 

_"What's the other thing?"_

"Ah, I told you already, didn't I? It's a surprise." Mari twirled the phone cord around her finger, smugly grinning before she remembered Yoshiko couldn't hear her. The other end of the line was silent. "I booked us a gig."

 _"Oh."_ Yoshiko took a deep breath. _"Where?"_

"We're opening for Saint Snow in the park." 

_"Alright. Thanks, Mari."_ The phone beeped, and Mari set it down with a sigh. 

"Did I make a mistake?" 

***

Kanan paced back and forth in her family's shop the following day - it was closed for restocking, and so she was able to have the band over without much trouble. Dia stood, her posture excellent as always, at the edge of a shelf. 

"What's troubling you?" she asked. Kanan took a deep breath, rocking back and forth on the creaky wooden floors. 

"We don't have any songs," she admitted. "We didn't even have a _name_ until yesterday. What if this is a mistake, huh? Maybe we should've just kept it as a fun thing to do after school." 

"You don't think Mari should've invited me to join," Dia said slowly, articulating each word as if to make sure Kanan heard them all. 

"I mean . . . I don't think you're gonna like this crowd much. Aside from me and Mari and your sister, they're all pretty out there." 

"You underestimate my willingness to adapt." 

"You once threatened a kid with suspension because they swore in the hallways." Dia flushed red.

"When I can catch someone in an illegal act, I do my best to set an example!" she snapped, then pinched her nose. "I'll be fine. You won't even notice I'm here. I'm just doing this for Mari, anyhow. It's hard to say no to her." 

"Believe me, I get that," Kanan chuckled, running a hand through her hair, running the other hand along a rack of goggles. Dia regarded her for a moment. 

"You should tell her," she said. "We're all graduating soon enough." 

"I can't." 

"You're both dense as anything, did you know that?" she muttered. "I really shouldn't even be here. I need to work on planning for the winter formal before some idiot decides on an 'Under the Sea' theme. Nobody wants that." 

"If it helps, I shouldn't be here either," Kanan offered. "I need to get my keys duplicated but I've been putting it off for months." 

"You're a lesbian, isn't Home Depot something like your turf?" Kanan's eyes widened. 

"Was that a _joke?"_ she breathed in disbelief. Dia stiffened. 

"You're s-sounding like Mari," she stuttered. "I was just . . . you know . . . that's what people say and-" 

"It's fine, Dia. Anyway, it's not Home Depot. It's this weird locksmith place an hour away. They've got a taxidermy fox behind the counter." Kanan shivered at the thought. "It's creepy." 

"You're more well-travelled than most of us, have you thought about that?" 

"Not really." 

"Aside from . . . well, aside from Mari, none of us have ever really left this little town. Nobody at our school, I mean. We just stay here." 

"Riko - the new girl - she's from the city." 

"Her and Mari, then. They're the only ones who came from the outside. Everyone else is just stuck here. But you're always driving out to games and everything in that pickup." 

"That's just how it is." A slow, sultry song played on the radio perched in the corner, and Kanan made a mental note to shut it off when the others arrived. "I don't think about it much." 

"You're both weird." Dia turned to face the door, watching for the rest. "Did you know that?" 

"You haven't seen everyone else in our group." As if on cue, Yoshiko burst through the door with her drumsticks clenched in her hands and a big grin on her face. 

"What's up, dummies?" she cheered. Dia's body went frigid. 

_"Her?"_ she hissed. _"She's_ a part of your band? The band that _my sister has been in for the past month?"_

"I'm sure I've told you," Kanan nonchalantly sighed. "You probably just didn't listen." Dia continued to fume as Yoshiko waggled her eyebrows and plopped down on the floor. 

"Your sister's a pretty good seamstress," she said, leaning up against a shelf full of oxygen tanks. Kanan nudged her away from it. "Made this for me." Yoshiko turned around to show off the angel wings on her jacket. "I'm guessing she never told you about that, though, huh? You don't want her associating with a _bad crowd,_ after all." Dia flinched as Yoshiko stood to her full height. She was smaller, younger, her bony frame betraying her physical weakness, but the flinty gaze she gave off was enough to make Dia back up. "The student council president wouldn't want that for her darling baby sister. The only person you're okay with her talking to is Zuramaru, but guess what? Last night she was-" 

"The student council president!" Chika chirped, sending the door swinging with You and Riko behind her, respectively carrying a white plastic bag and the pink songwriting binder. "Why're you here?" 

"I'm your new manager." 

"Oh." Chika pondered over this for a moment, making an overexaggerated gesture of tapping her head, rubbing her chin, as if this was the biggest decision of her life. Kanan remembered in that moment that Chika was the leader of the band. She wondered if Mari was in over her head. She wondered if she'd be able to tell her that. "Okay!" 

"Dad told me to bring these over," You said, emptying her bag and sending its contents tumbling to the floor. Packets of crackers and cookies were spread around. Yoshiko snatched one and tore it open with a frightening kind of speed. Dia backed up again. "He misses you guys. We should have the next practice at my place." Chika shook her head. 

"Nope!" she declared. "We're going to my house! Shiitake's been acting really weird lately, I wanna be there for her in case anything happens." Kanan felt a pit in her stomach. 

"She's sick?" 

"I don't know." Chika looked down, hugging herself. "She's been all sleepy lately and she's eating a lot and she won't let me pet her anymore." 

"We'll be there," Kanan reassured her. "Promise." 

"In the meantime, I suppose I should tell you why we're all here." Dia clapped her hands, trying (and failing, it seemed) to gain everyone's attention. "I am your new manager, and your group has a gig next Friday." 

"We have a gig next Friday?!" Hanamaru walked right into the door, nose squished up against the glass while Ruby hopped back in surprise, but her voice was still loud enough to travel inside the door. Ruby silently pushed it open. "But we haven't even written a song, zura!" 

"Once the final member of your assembly makes it here, you can get to remedying that." Dia didn't look Ruby in the eye, but Ruby didn't look at her either. Kanan felt an odd pang in her chest. "I'm sure you'll all be able to put out at least one song if you put all nine of your minds to it. In the meantime, I'm going to brainstorm for the winter formal. If I hear _one more idiot_ suggest 'Under the Sea' for the millionth time, I'm going to kill them." 

"Okay." Mari stepped in, looking right at Dia. "Work on it, then, Dia. I'm going to help everyone out with this, alright? We've got it." Dia walked off, still keeping her eye on the little group. You turned around and revealed her guitar snug in its case, taking it off her back. 

"Well, I started to write some lyrics, but they're not very good," Riko started off. "I'm more of a melody person, I have plenty of those. If anyone has lyrics, that'd be great." 

"I have some, zura!" Hanamaru chirped, fiddling with the zipper on her backpack and eagerly pulling out a comically huge notebook filled to the brim with paper that looked like it was right about to fall out. "Music's just like poetry with instruments, right?" 

"It's the meaning that matters," Yoshiko solemnly agreed. She wasn't exactly being subtle, twirling a craft-store feather around and around in her fingers while sneaking a glance at Hanamaru every few seconds. Kanan wondered why she didn't fiddle with the drumsticks sticking out of her back pocket instead. "To put thought and feeling behind it is the most powerful thing anyone can do." 

"Mm-kay, so how's this?" Hanamaru cleared her throat and straightened out her papers in front of her before she began. _"What I want to meet . . . is a new kind of excitement. A newborn wish's warmth, I want to embrace it. I want to lightly go towards it with my memories stuffed inside my pocket."_ Eight pairs of eyes blinked at her. 

"Oo-kay," Mari finally breathed out. "That could work! A kind of slam poetry thing? We could do that. I've heard it's all the rage." 

"I dunno." Chika rocked back and forth in a little ball. "It's not super energetic, is it?" 

"It's all we have right now," Riko said. "We can work on it, right? We can make it better." 

"I could make some pretty interesting costumes for it," You mused. Ruby nodded in agreement. 

"F-for what it's worth, I actually liked it a lot," Yoshiko mumbled. Hanamaru brightened. 

"You really did, zura?" 

"I did." 

"Okay, so we've got one song down." Kanan clapped her hands together, looking at Chika again. "We can always make more, right? An opening act's usually about three." 

"You're right." Chika took a long, shaky breath. "Okay! Let's keep going." 

***

The following hours were possibly the most - and only - productive hours that Aqours had ever experienced, filled with scribbled-out lyrics on any notebook paper they could find all while the radio still played in the background. Dia sat, wordless, in the corner. Mari had never been one for composing, and so for the most part she sat back and offered small tweaks when she could. Riko's melodies lent themselves surprisingly well to Hanamaru and Chika's far-fetched (and often opposing) ideas, all while You twanged her guitar and Yoshiko hit the sides of shelves with her drumsticks. Ruby seemed content with doodling up costumes. 

"Mm-kay, and then maybe we could-" 

"Why are all of these themes so _dull?!"_ Dia roared at her clipboard, slamming it down on the hardwood floor. Mari looked over to her and wondered (not for the first time) if inviting her had been a good idea at all. "Under the Sea. Night of a Million Stars. They're all done to death." 

"What about . . . dreams?" Chika offered. Dia narrowed her eyes, slowly picking up her clipboard. 

"Dreams?" she repeated. Chika nodded eagerly. 

"Dreams! You know that feeling you get when you're asleep and dream-you feels like anything could happen? It's like you're flying! And then that feeling stays a little while longer even after you wake up." 

"Dreams . . . not bad." Dia made a note on her clipboard, furrowing her brow. "Carry on, then." 

***

"I can't believe we got so much done," Kanan breathed, hopping into her pickup and patting the passenger seat. Mari clambered in after her. "You think we can really pull this off?" 

"Look at you, being all optimistic for once!" Mari laughed, throwing her head back in that way that made it so Kanan could see all her teeth, could see the big smile that made her crazy. "I do, by the way. And this'll just be the beginning! Imagine it - Aqours in Madison Square Garden. Aqours all around the world, selling out cassettes like _that!"_ Mari snapped her perfectly-manicured fingers and grinned impishly. "It's a dream, anyhow." 

"Right." 

"Kanan, did I make a mistake?" All of a sudden Mari shrank back into her seat. Kanan turned on the ignition and looked at her. 

"You mean in booking the gig? I thought that was great." 

"No, not that." The truck pulled out of the driveway in the direction of Mari's house. "Dia. I thought that maybe it'd help everyone - help her get back on good terms with little Ruby, help the three of us return to how we were before-" 

"You don't need to keep blaming yourself for that." Kanan tightened her grip on the steering wheel. "Alright? We were all little kids and you left for a little while and it changed the way our group worked. So what? You're here now, aren't you? It's not like that ended on bad terms or anything." 

"I wouldn't have survived if we had ended it on bad terms." The streetlights flickered on and off erratically, sputtering as if they were just barely clinging to life. It was an old town, a sleepy town, and Kanan could understand wanting to get away. Mari picked at some peeling fabric on the seat. "Kanan, you know that I'm going away again, right? Both of us are." 

"Yeah." Kanan flexed her hands on the steering wheel again, keeping her breathing steady - or at least trying to. Mari didn't seem convinced. "I'm trying not to think about it." 

"Mm-hmm." The opening notes of _Heaven is a Place on Earth_ played on the radio. "That sounds fine." 

"Mari, you know we can talk to each other, right?" Kanan's flannel suddenly felt too tight, too itchy, and Mari looked ever so weary in that passenger's seat. 

"Mm-hmm." 

"But we're not going to talk to each other, are we?" 

"Nope!" Mari gave her a cheery thumbs-up before turning her attention back to the road ahead. "I think you're close to my place." 

"Right." Kanan pulled the truck into the gravel driveway and shut it off. "Goodbye, Mari." 

"See you, Kanan!" With a wink and a wave, Mari hopped out and trotted to her door. Kanan waited until she could see Mari's figure disappear into the house, then pulled away slowly, heart thumping at a million miles an hour. 

***

"Do you think they're gonna like us?" Chika whispered nervously, pacing back and forth while Riko took shaky breaths in. Ruby and Yoshiko positively trembled. Every few seconds, Dia and You would peek out from behind the curtain to check the sizable crowd waiting in the park. Uchiura wasn't a very interesting town, they all knew that, and so any kind of event like this found its way around.

"They'll love us," Kanan said, her voice flat and determined. Mari wondered if this was how she acted at her football games, huddled up with her teammates. A pleasant fluttering sensation enveloped her at the thought of being on Kanan's team, even if this one was different in a million ways. "They will. You're all amazing, okay? Chika, you built something pretty cool. Even if nobody else says it, you brought us nine together. That's a feat in of itself." Mari looked over to where You kept her gaze transfixed on the curtain, pointedly avoiding looking at Riko, while Dia reassuringly patted Ruby on the head. "Why don't you give us a little speech before we go on?" 

"O-okay." Chika clenched her fists, took a deep breath in. Mari couldn't help but notice the way she tapped her foot incessantly, like a rabbit. "Everyone, this is our first gig. But it's not gonna be our last! I know that even if we don't do a whole lot, Aqours is gonna knock the socks off of-" 

Whatever Chika planned to say next was cut off by the backstage lights sputtering and crackling off, leaving them all in darkness until a flash of lightning illuminated them for just a second. Chika rushed to the stage, and the others followed her.

"Oh, no," You breathed. Hardly a moment passed before rain started to pound down on the stage, on the park, every which way, while the audience slunk away and left the nine girls alone. "Get to the buses." 

"What?" Chika might've been crying, might've been shaking, or maybe it was just the rain making it seem that way. "No, no, we can still do it! We can go a-and we can . . . we can perform! It's okay!" 

"It's a thunderstorm!" You snapped, stepping uncomfortably close to Chika and gnashing her teeth. "We live near the ocean! Do you want to _die?_ Wouldn't that be a headline for the ages, huh, 'Teenage Girl Found Struck By Lightning On Her First Performance?' Christ, Chika, get a grip!" 

"We can still . . ." Chika searched the platform for anyone who'd agree with her, but they all turned their heads slowly. 

"I'm sorry, Chika," Kanan murmured. "It's not safe." 

"B-but . . ."

"Get to the buses," You repeated, and walked off without another word. 

"What about our stuff?" Chika whimpered as Yoshiko reluctantly dragged her off, the white angel wings on her jacket turning gray with the rain. Lightning crashed somewhere nearby. "Our lyrics and clothes and everything?" 

"I'll collect it," Mari said, trying not to look too closely at Chika's broken expression. 

"Same here," Kanan added. "You all, go. It's not safe." 

"But-" 

_"Go!"_ The remaining seven ran off, while Kanan immediately got to heading backstage and picking up the street clothing and music sheets they'd left behind. "Come on," she said, gesturing to the scattering of objects. "The sooner we get all of it, the sooner we can leave here." 

"Chika was heartbroken," Mari whispered, gathering up a few shirts in her arms. "You should've gone and comforted her." 

"I wasn't going to leave you here alone." 

"I think I can survive a thunderstorm just fine, Kanan." 

"I know, I know, but . . ."

"You would've worried anyway?" Mari offered. Kanan nodded hesitantly. "Geez, Kanan, what's going to happen when we go off to college? Are you going to be like one of those mothers who calls her kid every day?" Kanan looked up, grip tightening around one of Riko's songbooks, and she held it close to her chest to protect it from the rain. 

"That's what you think of me?" 

"No." 

"Anyway, it's fine. We were both fine when you left, weren't we?" Kanan seemed to regret the words as soon as they came out of her mouth, and Mari couldn't speak for a moment. "I'm sorry." 

"It's fine." Mari wouldn't - couldn't - very well expand beyond that. 

"I think that's everything." As if the universe was mocking the two of them, the bus pulled away across the street and rumbled off into the distance. "Oh." 

***

The bus stop was nice enough - it provided shelter, at least, but silence still stood like a wall between the two girls. Kanan had found an abandoned umbrella at the last second and had promptly run with it, keeping Mari's hand held in her own, looking back at her every few seconds to make sure she was okay. They'd reached it with the knowledge that another bus wouldn't show up for a long whole yet. 

Kanan rattled her umbrella until the droplets were all but gone, then checked Mari over again as if she'd suddenly appear to be covered in cuts and scratches. 

"Some weather we're having, huh?" she joked. Mari rolled her eyes. 

"I've dealt with worse, Kanan." There was no malice behind her words - there never was - but she looked so very small in all the pounding rain that Kanan shrunk back and didn't reply. "I wish there was a telephone around here," Mari continued. "We could've called for someone to pick us up." 

"Guess we'll just have to wait for the bus." 

"I guess." Mari undid her braid as she talked, hooking her fingers through that funny little loop she always had it in and pulling it free. "Kanan, aren't you cold?" 

"I think I'll be alright." Really, she was freezing, but she wasn't about to tell Mari that. With Aqours' belongings tucked under her arm, all she could do was stare out at the rushing cars, none of them stopping for the two girls. "It's just a shame, is all." 

"I know." Mari leaned a little closer, half-closing her eyes. Kanan feared she'd pass out. "I made a mistake, didn't I?" 

"No, no, it's okay." 

"I went behind Chika's back because I wanted to . . . to do something _big_ and _exciting_ and where did it get me? Here. At a bus stop. In the rain. With you." Mari folded her arms, gripping them with her fingers until little red marks appeared on her skin. "And the worst part is I don't even mind it." 

"What?" She didn't want to hope - wouldn't let herself hope - but Kanan felt a warmth in her chest. 

"You heard me. I don't mind it, because this is just a picture-perfect scene, isn't it?" Mari laughed bitterly, pressing a damp hand to her forehead. "I could kiss you and it'd just be the natural thing." 

"Then do it." Kanan thought that if Mari was just messing with her again, the way she'd been doing for so long now, she'd just fall apart. She was still preoccupied with these thoughts when Mari pressed her palm to Kanan's cheek and kissed her. 

She was still cold - they both were - but it felt like violins were sounding off somewhere in the distance, the both of them closing the distance, Mari still holding Kanan's face in her hand and Kanan pressing her hand into the small of Mari's back, anything for the two of them to get just a little closer, making up for lost time in the most wondrous way possibly. Eventually they had to break apart, just to come up for air, and when Kanan pulled away she saw Mari's eyes glimmering, her face flushed red. 

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," Kanan chuckled, unable to keep the wry smile off her face. 

"Ditto." Mari pulled her back in, and they almost didn't notice when the bus pulled up. 

***

"I still feel terrible about Chika." Mari pressed herself closer to Kanan's chest - it had taken about two seconds for them to fall into the routine of a lovey-dovey couple. They'd been one for a while, really. 

"You shouldn't." 

"Well, maybe, but I still do." It was a pit that gnawed at her, and it bothered her quite a lot, since things were so perfect otherwise. Kanan stayed quiet for a moment, then smiled a little. 

"I think I might have an idea."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun fact: i had the first part of the bus stop scene written out way back in like, november. it was a relief to finally put it in the fic.
> 
> maru's slam poetry was a portion of the translated lyrics to happy party train. make of that what you will.
> 
> next week is the finale, i've decided. nine chapters for nine girls. fits, right?


	9. fin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everyone gets the John Hughes ending they deserve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you to everyone who supported this fic! it's been a wild ride

_"Mari, you really think this'll work?"_ Dia's skepticism was clear enough over the phone, her voice a little distorted by the speaker, but Kanan looked at Mari again and she saw determination in her movements. 

"I do." 

_"I can't."_

"You _can't?"_ Kanan repeated, grabbing the phone in her own hands and holding it so tight she worried a bit about breaking it. Mari's plush mattress creaked beneath her. "What do you mean you _can't?_ We're not asking you for much." 

_"I've associated myself with this band. If I had us perform at the winter formal, it would be . . . the rest of the student council would accuse me of favoritism. Which is what it would be, by the way."_

"Dia, we have about four months left until we graduate. You've led this place for most of high school." Mari curled her hand around the phone and in doing so held it on top of Kanan's. Nothing had ever felt so right. "They ought to owe you something."

_"I-"_

"Think of Ruby," Kanan blurted out. The other end of the line went silent. 

_"I'll consider it."_ A _click,_ and Kanan and Mari were left looking at each other with glee. 

"We did it," Mari whispered, pressing a kiss to Kanan's cheek. "We did it!" 

"Dia might still-"

_brring-brring-brring_

"What now?" 

_"Hey, is Kanan there? I called her house and she wasn't there so I thought maybe she'd be here because, you know, she's here a lot, so . . ."_

"Slow down, Chika," Kanan said. "I'm here. What's wrong?" 

_"It's Shiitake. You have to come quick!"_

***

"Kanan, slow down! You have some valuable cargo on board!" Mari clung to the hanging handle above the door for dear life (she never did know what those were called, officially) as Kanan sped through red lights, her truck bumping up and down on the patchy roads. "It'd be awful if we got together just to die in a car crash, you know!" 

"I have to be there." 

"F-for Chika's dog?" 

"Exactly." Kanan gripped the steering wheel tighter. Mari paused. 

"Why?"

"She's my friend." Kanan shrugged, nonchalant, which seemed out of place with how frantically she was driving. "Has been for a long time. Even if we're drifting apart, she's still my friend. You do this sort of thing for friends, when you care about them." Mari let go of the handle and folded her hands in her lap, focusing on them as the truck rounded another corner. 

"I should've stayed." 

"What?" 

"In middle school. At the end of middle school, I mean. When I left. It wasn't even for that long, but I felt like I had to leave." 

"Mari, it doesn't-" 

"It does!" Mari didn't notice how deep she was digging her fingernails into her palms until Kanan held her hand and her fingers uncurled, revealing the little indents she'd left there. Crescent moons, that was what someone had called them once. "I didn't _want_ to leave, but I did." 

"Did someone make you?" 

"No. I just felt like I needed to." 

"It's okay. Really, it's okay." The truck slowed to a stop as they approached the front of Chika's house. "We'll pick this up later." 

"You're good at switching tracks, aren't you, Kanan?" Mari smiled, feeling her heart fill up with warmth as Kanan unbuckled her seatbelt and jumped out of the car, rushing for the door. Mari followed, a bit slower. 

"Chika!" Kanan yelled, banging on the door. "What's wrong?" 

"Oh, Kanan, thank goodness you're here!" Chika flung the door open and ushered the two of them inside - _ushered_ might not have been the best word, Mari thought, she was really shoving them into the living room with more force than she should've been able to contain in that tiny body. 

"Is she okay?" Kanan asked, before quickly coming face-to-face with the issue at hand - Shiitake, lying down on a towel, panting and heaving. Mari crouched in front of the dog. 

"I don't know!" Chika paced back and forth, holding her head in her hands, her socks sliding a little on the polished wood floor. "She's been like this for an hour." 

"Should we get her to the vet?" 

"I thought that too, but she tried to bite me as soon as I even came close!" 

"She's going into labor." Mari turned back to Chika and Kanan with a calm delivery of the news that surprised even her. 

_"What?!"_ Chika shrieked, dropping down to her knees. "She's having puppies?!" 

"That's what it looks like. I spent a summer on some distant aunt's ranch, once, and one of the cows . . ." Mari trailed off, and Chika nodded sagely. 

"So . . . what do we do?" 

"We wait." 

***

They did wait, for about another half-hour, with Chika fretting and Kanan trying her damnedest to stay calm. Mari would occasionally coo calming words to Shiitake as she heaved and whined. 

"So . . . you want us to perform at the winter formal?" Chika murmured, keeping one eye on Shiitake while she spoke. 

"Yep." Kanan fidgeted, picking loose skin off her fingers until Mari pushed her hand down. "I know the band's not gonna last forever - Mari and myself are graduating this summer - but we ought to get one last hurrah in before that, yeah? We deserve it. Just to be a group of friends for one night, don't we deserve that?" 

"What's the theme?" 

"Oh." Kanan scratched the back of her neck, a warmly crooked grin making its way to her face. "Well, Dia actually decided to go with your suggestion. Dreams. It's going to be decked out in soft glowy colors so everything feels hazy." 

"I heard her harassing some poor techie over a fog machine," Mari added.

"B-but we failed, last time. What if something happens again?" 

"We'll be indoors," Kanan said. Mari nodded along with her. 

"Other stuff could still happen." 

"It's up to you, okay?" Kanan put her hands on Chika's shoulders, steady and firm. "You're the leader, so it's your decision in the end." 

"Thank you," she mumbled, wiping stray tears from the corners of her eyes. 

"Don't mention it." Shiitake snuffled in that moment, and the three girls turned to see her licking a newborn puppy. 

"Oh," Chika breathed. "Oh, it's beautiful." The puppy's eyes were still squeezed shut, its brown-and-white fur slicked to its body with fluid as Shiitake nipped the cord off. 

"I think there's another one coming." Mari positioned herself over Shiitake, protective like a mother while the massive dog kept pushing and licking the first puppy, and Kanan had to stifle a laugh. "She's okay, you know. Instinct kicks in pretty quickly." 

"Is that what your aunt on the farm said?" Kanan asked, quirking her eyebrows upwards and most certainly _not_ imagining Mari riding a horse in a pair of tight jeans and a cowboy hat. Absolutely not. Mari snorted. 

"Maybe." The second puppy slid out a few seconds later, and Shiitake turned her attention to it quickly, repeating the same process. "I think she's done." 

"You're gonna make a great mom, Shiitake," Chika whispered, stroking the massive dog's head softly and then pressing a kiss to her temple. She turned to face Mari. "Should I do anything else?" 

"I'm not exactly a dog maternity expert, but, erm, I think you'd get food and water for her, correct? Giving birth must be exhausting." 

"Right, right!" Chika hurried off into the kitchen. Kanan leaned against Mari, sinking into her touch. 

"What'd I do to deserve such a smart girlfriend, huh?" she sighed. Mari flushed red. 

"Aren't you quite the charmer?" It really wasn't an ideal romantic situation - a slobbering dog having just given birth would do that to a vibe - but to Kanan, they might as well have been floating together on the moon. 

"I got the stuff!" Chika ran back into the living room with an entire sack of dog food and a water bottle bundled up in her arms. "You two're dating?" 

"Well . . ." Kanan pushed her hair back, not feeling quite as self-conscious as she'd expected to. She looked to Mari as if to confirm it was okay, and was promptly met with a grin and a thumbs-up. "Yeah." 

"I knew it!" Chika pumped her fist in the air, then slowly lowered it. "Wait. I owe You ten bucks." 

"You were _betting_ on us?" 

"How could you betray me like this, Kanan?" Chika moaned, sinking to her knees and taking the foot and water with her. Kanan snorted. 

"C'mon, you knew this was coming," she said. "I mean, _I_ didn't, but . . ." 

"You had an awfully big crush on me, hmm?" Mari teased. Kanan kissed her on the lips, and it still made her feel lightheaded. Chika looked over at Shiitake, who curled protectively over her two puppies. 

"So, how're we gonna do this?" she murmured, determination creeping into her face. 

"The puppies?" 

"The winter formal." 

***

 _"Whoa, Shiitake gave birth?"_ You's disbelief rang loud and clear over the phone's speaker. Chika nodded, then seemed to remember that she was on the phone and chirped a hearty _"yep!"_ instead. _"Aces."_

"So, we're shaking things up again." 

_"Right after the whole performance flop and . . . Dia?"_ Mari curled into herself at You's tone. Kanan held her closer. 

"Yep. We're gonna perform at the winter formal." 

_"Seriously?"_

"Yeah." 

_"Huh."_ Some garbled static came from the phone - probably the sound of the waves, Mari thought, considering the houseboat - and then You spoke again. _"You're taking Riko as your date, right?"_

"Yeah." 

_"I'm happy for you."_ Mari got the sense that she really was. _"We'll have to rehearse more, you know. We were in pretty lousy shape last time."_

"Yeah, you're right," Chika laughed, pushing a hand through her hair, exhaling. "You're a good friend, you know." 

_"I'm the best."_ She hung up. 

"So, who's next?" 

***

Ruby wasn't at the Kurosawa household, as it turned out - she was on a "date with that conniving little stranger," as Dia put it - but Kanan imagined she'd be ecstatic to hear the news once she came back home. Dia herself was fine with it. Three were left to call, after that. 

"Yoshiko?" Kanan sat, cross-legged, with the phone nestled against her ear. 

_It's Kanan, zura!"_

_"Oh, seriously? Hey."_

"Hey yourself." Kanan tried her best to soften her tone. Yoshiko was a kindred spirit, no matter how she tried to dissuade that notion. It was all too easy to picture her snuggled up against Hanamaru in her messy, dimly-lit bedroom, grinning like a doofus. "We're performing at the winter formal." 

_"That lame thing the uppity people go to, the show of excess wealth and class stratification and-"_

_"It's like in the sweetest romance novels, zura!"_ Hanamaru broke in, no doubt slowly melting Yoshiko's resolve. 

_"You seriously want to relive, like,_ Back to the Future _or something?"_

"Well, Chika does," Kanan chuckled. "And it sounds like your girlfriend does, too." 

_"S-she's not . . . fine, I'll do it. I'm not wearing a dress, though."_ Kanan smiled. 

"Neither am I." 

***

Riko was decidedly easier to contact than anyone else, by virtue of living less than a hundred feet away - Chika didn't even bother with the phone. 

"Stay down here with Shiitake, 'kay?" she said, gesturing to the still-sleeping dog. Kanan and Mari nodded as she dashed up the stairs. 

"She's gonna yell at the balcony," Kanan sighed. 

_"Riko!"_ Chika yelled, a few seconds later. 

_"What?!"'_

_"We're gonna perform at the winter formal!"_

_"Okay!"_

_"Which reminds me, do you wanna go to the winter formal with me?!"_

_"Of course I do, Chika!"_

_"Perfect!"_

Chika bounded downstairs with a smile on her face. 

***

Kanan fidgeted with the cuff of her suit for what must've been the millionth time that evening. 

"You look _fine,"_ Yoshiko huffed, tapping her foot impatiently, the sound echoing all around the bathroom. "Geez, you know they're all waiting out there for you, right? So's Zuramaru, but instead I'm here helping out this random senior because she happened to be the reason we're waiving the dress code." 

"I want it to be perfect." 

"And it will be!" Yoshiko threw her arms in the air and almost knocked over a stack of paper towels. "I mean, c'mon, I'm not even dressed up. Mari's in love with you. Get off your ass and onto the dance floor before I drag you out there myself." 

"Okay, okay." Kanan started for the door, then paused. "Do you really think Mari's in love with me?" 

"Totally." 

"Oh, one more thing." 

"Yeah? Make it quick, okay? I'm getting really sick of this whole standing-around-in-the-ladies-room thing." 

"You're a good kid. Don't let anyone tell you anything different." With that, Kanan pushed open the door and headed for the hallway, pursued by a very irritated Yoshiko. 

"I'm not a 'good kid!' I'm a bad kid! I'm as bad as they come!" 

"Sure." The double doors leading to the gymnasium had been propped open, and the whole thing was cast in a purple light - Dia had done a surprisingly good job with the "dreams" theme, even if _I Wanna Dance With Somebody_ playing over the speakers messed with the vibe somewhat. Chika and Riko danced like nobody was watching, dipping each other like they were movie stars. Ruby and Leah held each other close, foreheads touching, and Kanan made a mental note to keep Dia away from that part of the gym. Hanamaru bounded over with two cups of punch. 

"Did you know there're a bunch of flavors all put into this?" she breathed incredulously, sloshing the punch around with wonder in her eyes. "It's the future, zura!" Yoshiko sniffed it. 

"If one of the flavors is alcohol, I think I'll pass," she said. Kanan looked at her in surprise. Mari had always told her she was bad at hiding her feelings. "Hey, I have to stay sober for the sake of the band, right?" 

"Why would there be alcohol in it, zura?" Hanamaru blinked down into her cup. "Did someone spike it?" 

"Can't be too sure," You said, plucking the drink out of her hands and carrying it off. Kanan didn't even have a chance to say hello before she was gone again. 

"Have you seen Mari?" Kanan asked, facing Yoshiko and Hanamaru again. Both of them shook their heads. 

"Didn't she come with you, zura? Usually you two always pair up on the way back from practice." 

"She didn't want to this time, for some reason. Probably has something up her sleeve." Kanan smiled to herself. "Probably something amazing." 

"Okay, go be sappy somewhere else, we're gonna dance before we have to go on." Yoshiko waved her away with a hand, and Kanan wandered aimlessly for about half a second before someone tapped her on the shoulder. She whirled around, promptly coming face-to-face with Mari, breathtaking as she always was, her dress gliding with her motions. 

"Miss me?" she purred, and Kanan resisted the urge to kiss her right then and there. 

"You're . . ." Words failed to come to her in time. ". . . awesome." 

"You're pretty _awesome_ yourself, you know." Mari's hand crept up to Kanan's shoulders, pulling her in close. The song had changed to something slower. "We should go backstage soon." 

"Just a little longer," Kanan murmured. "Alright?" 

"Alright." 

***

"You've checked the lights?" Chika asked. Dia sharply nodded. 

"I have." 

"The mics are all good?" 

"They are." 

"It's all foolproof?" 

"As foolproof as anything can be." Dia glanced down at her clipboard again. Mari had to smile a bit at the familiarity of it all. "Go out there, now. They're expecting something grand. Be sure to give it to them." 

"Are you all ready to do this?" Chika looked over the group of nine, all of them bravely preparing to step forward. 

"I think so," Kanan said, and Mari felt her insides flip around. Then, quieter, she whispered in Mari's ear. "Are you sure you want to go through with this?" 

"As sure as I've ever been about anything, darling Kanan." 

"Let's go, then." 

***

The performance began, as all performances do. The tiny audience - much smaller than the group at the park, just a little gathering of teenage girls but an audience nonetheless - watched with curious eyes at the nine girls, singing and playing their hearts out. With the purple lighting and the fog machine and the pure adrenaline surging through her, Kanan thought that it really did feel like a dream, and a wonderful one at that. It was one she never wanted to wake up from, in any case. 

"We're Aqours!" Chika yelled out all too soon, setting her microphone down on the ground. The little crowd whooped and jumped in the air. 

"Are you ready?" Kanan whispered, her heart swelling. 

"As I'll ever be," Mari whispered back, and they kissed right there, right in front of the whole school, but in that moment for all they cared they could've been completely alone together. The crowd went silent. The humming of the fog machine kept going. Out of the corner of her eye, Kanan saw Ruby's girlfriend begin to slowly clap, joined by a few more students, until the whole gymnasium erupted into applause. 

"Whoa." Kanan pulled back, feeling her cheeks burn, and she was sure that a grin was splitting her face for how light she felt. 

"Whoa indeed," Mari chuckled, still holding her close. The band stepped off the stage, photos were taken, and both girls were still floating on a cloud. 

***

_2017_

"We owe it all to Chika, don't we?" Mari murmured, leaning on Kanan's shoulder, eyeing the wedding rings that sparkled softly. 

"Eh, we'd have made it there eventually." Kanan paused. "We should call her up soon, shouldn't we? It's been way too long." 

"You think it's high time for an Aqours reunion?" 

"I think that'd just be _radical."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks again

**Author's Note:**

> things i had to look up for this chapter:   
> -80s slang  
> -when did say anything come out  
> -when did the breakfast club come out  
> -when did pretty in pink come out  
> -how does a walkman work  
> -80s love songs


End file.
